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I’ve been letting this “book” percolate for a few years now, giving it varying amounts of attention. Now that I have a job that allows me time to think and note down what I’ve thunken, perhaps I shall start finally organizing the assorted parts into the order that I’ve created in a separate notebook flow chart. The problem I have with writing long form things is my mind is so mathematically stifled, like I build all these frameworks inside, 36 parts, with 3 themes that cover 12 parts each, plus 4 other developments that go in 9 parts each, and they intertwine, and then there’s 6 types of parts, each used 6 times each. It’s ridiculous actually, but I can’t not do it, no matter how hard I try. So as I put something together over the long term like I have with this Rojonekku training manual, it becomes not only the separate word files on the computer, but stacks of index cards wrapped up in hair tyes, and a couple dollar store composition books with sketches and layouts of the actual physical space that is supposed to be occupied. I have made it a point to never go to any type of psychologist or psychiatrist (outside of off-the-grid new age types who make you put your hands in a bowl of sand and close your eyes and draw pictures of yourself with your finger) because if they started hearing how my brain bounces all over but is held together by cobbled together half-assed parameters and an over-intake of fringe pop culture nonsense, I’d be medicated as fuck by now.
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