Ahh, another old shitty zine. For the sample, I'm gonna give you something that is inducer of one of my proudest moments of doing a stupid zine, as someone who knows the guy was hanging and Axl Rose ended up reading through this issue of The Confederate Mack, and he found this list to be greatly amusing. That shit has always made me proud, which also makes me a fag for being such a punk for some famous fuck I don't even know acknowledging my existence. Why are we all such bitches for celebrities? R.I.P. Crocodile Bill Dundee.
Anyways, here's 16 Reasons Dogs Are Better Than Girlfriends:
"1. When you come home from work pissed off, and you beat your dog for some simple reason, he doesn't involve the cops.
2. Dogs expect sex from behind.
3. You can let a dog out of the house and it won't run off with another owner.
4. When a dog does something you don't like and you yell at it, it cowers in fear.
5. Women tend not to lick your feet.
6. Women only come in one color at a time.
7. It's easier to tell when a dog is happy.
8. When you're holding something a woman wants, and you pretend to throw it but hide it behind your back, the woman is not tricked.
9. When you fire a warning shot in the air, a girl runs to the authorities, a dog just runs away.
10. If you're gone for a couple days without explanation, a dog will be excited when you walk back into the house.
11. Dogs don't mind listening to The Geto Boys.
12. If you ever happen to walk in on your dog masturbating, it doesn't hurt your feelings.
13. When you kick your girlfriend in the ribs, she won't necessarily move out of your way.
14. Statistically speaking, your dog will die before you do, your girlfriend won't.
15. A dog barks at strangers, a girlfriend fucks them.
16. Girlfriends aren't too happy when you throw a stick in the middle of the river and tell them to get it."
Oh man, I hated me some women back then. A couple of stupid slut girlfriends in a row will do that to a man.
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