JMOTM: Mitsuhiro Matsunaga vs. Kohei Sato – 09/19/05 – Zero1-Max

The Stop the Matsunaga movement is now in full-force, is creepy Japanese cinematographic fashion, with Johnny Cash music and for-pretend-hot-jap sluts reporting, and Matsunaga in mask to freak out the masses. Why does fake hot scrawny jap slut have so many toys on the Ikea shelves behind her? Internet people love Japanese chicks because internet people love to make fun of people to make up for their own social shortcomings in life and they want to feel like big man big dick and most full-grown sexy Japanese women are physically built like a full-grown cute 12-year-old American girl just now getting grass on the field to play ball upon, so I fear Jap love on internet is secret pedophilia. BUT WHO THE FUCK CARES!?!? Matsunaga is going to stab some Jap dude who has blonde hair and a raspy voice with a taped fork, and Johnny Cash says “behold a pale horse” and I think of the great combination of William Cooper and Mr. Danger. I love Matsunaga because this is not just some awesome shit he was convinced to do; he is a maniac and would stab you or me for not even a third of a paycheck, yet he has the sense to indulge this psychological perversion through the simulated world of the professional wrestling. New Jack comes to mind as someone who has crossed the line for no reason. Mr. Danger counters a dangerous armbar by digging weapon out his boot and stabbing fingers, I think with a protractor. Blonde boy is bleeding from his eyeball and has an unfinished tattoo of what looks to be a tiger of some sort. Matsunaga gets a chair kicked into his chest so he digs back into the FUCKIN’ TAPED POUCH on his ankle and pulls something else out his FUCKIN’ TAPED POUCH OF TRICKS. He also has fangs, which I hadn’t noticed before. He carves hardcore hieroglyphics into young dude’s arm with a fork, gets disqualified for not following the pussy rules of puroresu classic, and murders his way back to the locker room, where I bet he listened to something mellow, calmed down, and went home, giving his wife a big kiss on the forehead as he snuck under the covers next to her since it was late. Mrs. Danger has to be up early, you know.