JMOTM: Satoshi Kojima vs. Katsuyori Shibata – 12/29/05 – Big Mouth Loud

I am intrigued like simple-minded moth to the fire of the blood and bold tattoos of the Inoue/Murakami match before this one, but I will follow Dean’s suggestions and go straight at the main event. Shibata has emotion, to counter Kojima’s color-coordinated outfit. Shibata appears to be a kick machine with bad hair, and whoever makes Kojima’s ring gear appears to like architectural review magazines from 1982. Shibata’s kicks continue to pester Kojima, so he moves towards some legholds to weaken their strength, or at least I think because I am thinking way too hard about what I’m seeing. Yet Shibata remains ridiculous with his legs. It is amazing that a man, whose species has utilized the hands and fingers along with brain to such incredulous levels, could develop such lethal second fiddle limbs. FOR GOD’S FUCKING SAKE, STOP KICKING KOJIMA. Outside the ring, Shibata pulls the safety mat up, which I don’t have to understand Japanese commentary to know, he’s about go try and get all unsafe up in this piece, at somebody else’s expense. And he goes for a brainbuster, but you can’t do a brainbuster with just your legs, and when you develop your leg offense so heavily like Shibata obviously has done, sometimes the other aspects of your wrestling game lag behind, and he’s unable to lift Kojima into a busted brain maneuver, and Kojima reverses it to drop Shibata on his shoulders onto the nice hardwood floor previously concealed by a blue mat. Instant karma, yet again in the professional wrestling.
And that was the changing of the tide, with Kojima taking over. When Shibata does mount a comeback, of course with the lethal legs, we get LEG WHIP ACTION. There’s a really nice sequence where Kojima is fighting armbar attempts, a perfect mixing of the MMA and the worked combat into something that seems like it might actually be a part of a larger-than-life fight, as opposed to just some dumb stiff shit two wrestlers hit each other with in a predetermined wrestle match. Kojima starts to bring the wicked clothesline action to counter the wicked kicks upside his ribcage he’s taking, and vicious lariat beats vicious foot, because man has developed his arms as weapons far more than the legs, as it is closer attuned to the brain. It’s an old story, and ask any friend tomorrow, would they rather lose an arm or a leg, and anybody with any sense will tell you a leg, because legs are for pussies. Arms are for men. Says so in the Constitution even.