Okay, in a short amount of time Donks have gone too far. There's donk diecasts at the Wal-Mart, and donk models at the hobby shop. But all of that is whatever to me. However, this issue sorta creeped me out. I mean, I'm down with weird reverse low riders when I think it's just dudes who have too much new money to know what to do with so they do strange shit with their rides. But this new issue had all these cars with commercial themes. Like one car had a Garfield theme, and there were two cars with a Hawaiian Punch theme. Plus a Lucky Charms themed car with fucking leather stitched lucky charm marshmallows in the door panels. What the fuck? I mean, I could think of about seven million things to do a themed car of before I would choose some chump-ass company product. I'd rather do a big uncircumcised penis themed car before I had fucking lucky charm logos stitched into my swivel seats.
Anyways, a lot of the donks in this issue were stupid looking. In interesting rim news though, the cover car had 30 inch clear rims, but only on the driver's side, which makes me think they must be more expensive than shit. Also, apparently they already have 32 inch rims okay for the street (meaning they have government approved tires already ready to be manufactured meeting safety standards), and 34 inch rims already designed, but no tire manufacturer has made a tire for them that's legal. Also, there's an ad (as well as most of the car featured it) for digital dashes you can have installed in your late model hooptie. That's funny, and makes me want to have a really shitty beat up old Cutlass with a digital dash and nothing else of worth. Except I bet those digital dashes are like way more money than any of the cars I've ever droven cost.
Also, the other week, I was just wandering around one day in my truck, drinking double deuces and enjoying the Piedmont spring weather, when meandering through Roxboro I think, I passed the crazy little cinderblock convenience store that was in the first issue with the dude that had that blue and yellow Cutlass with a matching wheel chair (even had matching rims on his wheelchair)... it was a fun moment, and I thought about stopping to buy a calling card, but I've got a robot cell phone now so that would be kinda pointless.
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