thangs I thunk upon today

1. I was thinking about this Lil Flip song called "R.I.P. Screw", which since this is a part of rapdorkblogosphere and you guys probably don't like Screw or anything, that was a dead homey song Flip flipped and all. It's awesome, because he does some crazy rhyming saying, "We stood in the kitchen, laughing and sipping, smoking, getting high, eating a basket of chicken," which is the greatest shit ever. Fuck cybertronic encyclopediatric linguistics; being able to put that shit together makes Lil Flip better than scientists making it able for gay sex to make babies and Aesop Rock and Kanye West's ghostwriter make a gay baby, who in turn makes a gay baby with Birdman and Lil Wayne's adopted Nigerian boy, and that next double gay baby writes lyrics his whole life. His best shit is way worse than what I quoted above. But Lil Flip has a line, speaking of gay sex, that says, "You and me had a relationship, like Lil Wayne and Baby." I wonder if Flip ever regrets that line in retrospect. 2. I am a shitty self-employed worker dude, and I run extension cords all over the world to wherever I'm working so that I can have the sweet numbing sound of radio music while I waste my life away. At the end of the day, I roll up my drop cords (which is my retarded way of saying extension cords) into loops about forearm length, and when I get to the end, I run both ends in tight loops around the big loops on one end and plug them together, to keep everything in a nice roll to hang on a hook or leave laying on the ground or whatever. It just occurred to me today that doing this is extension cord incest, and now I'm afraid my extension cords are gonna wear out early so as to electrocute me to get back at me for making them fuck themselves every day. 3. In honor of 9/11 (never regret!), how come nobody's ever made a morning radio show bullshit thing with like the breakbeat from either Audio Two's "Top Billin'" or Shan's "The Bridge" and put newscast clips of people in the street interviews about how fucked up that shit was with a DJ cutting up, with his pitch control as slow as it'll go, that Biggie line "blow up like the world trade"? If hip hop is gonna become the music of grandparents, which it will, in like ten years at the most, then it has to be able to do dumb shit like that. 4. That bitch the other day at the tire store when I got my truck inspected, with the low cut white blouse, she had some nice ass tits. I bet her nipples were large and pointy, perfect for catching between my teeth gently as she bounced on my lap as I sat on the couch while some faggot shit she picked out of my record collection was playing on the stereo. 5. I didn't think there could possibly be a better Charles Bronson movie I never heard of than Mr. Majestyk (which I watched a month or so back; he fucks 1971 Salma Hayek in it), but then I got Once Upon A Time In The West, a Sergio Leone flick that ruled shit. For those that don't know, Sergio Leone is the guy who draws those weird little comics at the edges of the pages in Mad magazine. But he also made some westerns back before he got famous. Now, I'm pretty much just gonna netflix search Charles Bronson and watch every movie he did before 1976 that I've never heard of. When I used to buy shitty jazz fusion and outlaw country rock records at random, 1976 was always my cut-off date for good shit, because after America remembered it was 200 years old, it started being a cuntface about shit. 6. If I masturbate naked far out in the woods without anyone else around to see me, does that make me a pervert? 7. My service engine soon light kicks on, not every time, but about half the time, and it sucks I live in the nowadays, because it used to mean if that shit came on, late model style, your car was fucked. But now the dealerships know dealer mechanizing upon your ride is big money, so that service engine light might mean I have a blown bobbling fuse or my external window sensor is busted or something completely meaningless. It's hard to say. But I am of the mind, as well as financial situation, to check the vital fluids and if that's good, drive it long and hard, drive it drunk and wide, over top of anything that gets in the way of me sleeping in my bed after a long day of wandering away from my bed disgruntledly while pouring beers in my mouth.