Originally, I was gonna just go with that stupid "last three years returning top scorers" schtick for the NCAA tourney as a whole, but then I decided to do it daily for the tournament, and as they play this year the totals can add up and all that stupid shit. Tonight I didn't feel like fucking with it, but I had wasted like a nour with this the other night, so I figured I might as well go through one night before I quit this March Madness gimmick.
#1: Darren Collison (UCLA guard, 92 previous NCAA tourney points)
#2: Luc Richard Mbah a Moute (UCLA guard/forward, 90 previous points) - Longest name in tourney (thanks to French colonialism) but also injured right now. Still, stupid UCLA has an easy ass bracket, which means they'll probably get upset, but it does seem rather engineered to get some UCLA old coach dying media frenzy love in the Final Four
#3: Folarin Campbell (George Mason guard/forward, 77 previous points) - It really shows you how amazing that George Mason run was for a #12 seed senior to show up this high on the list. They are the only representative from my home state, so I guess I'm rooting for them, although I don't really consider northern Virginia a part of my state because it's yankee fuckfaceland.
#4: Drew Neitzel (Michigan State guard, 77 previous points) - Linguistically, I would've assumed a "Drew Neitzel" playing top-tier college sports in Michigan would've been a Wolverine quarterback.
#5: Josh Shipp (UCLA guard/forward, 73 previous points)
#6: Brandon Rush (Kansas guard, 67 previous points) - Kansas is my second least liked team in the college hotballs, right behind Duke. I have no real reason to not like Kansas, other than seem like a midwest Duke, and they have those gay ass wild west letters on their uniforms.
#7: Will Thomas (George Mason forward, 65 previous points) - With two seniors who've been to the final four, going up against a Notre Dame team with a superstar sophomore whiteboy, this could be the upset special. Of course, all the talking twats on the sports shows have said this already, meaning it could never happen now.
#8: Russell Robinson (Kansas guard, 63 previous points)
#9: Ronald Ramon (Pittsburgh guard, 62 previous points) - I think I made Puerto Rico jokes when writing about him in the Big East tournament. I imagine all major program starting guards are from economically deprived backgrounds, and in economically deprived backgrounds, the pro wrestling is still popular. Thus, I am assuming he has been nicknamed Razor at some point in life.
#10: Mario Chalmers (Kansas guard, 61 previous points) - I think this guy has been playing for like seventeen years. And he's still only listed as a junior.
#11: Joseph Jones (Texas A&M forward/center, 58 previous points) - Why the fuck if your last name is Jones would you name your kid Joseph?
#12: Sam Young (Pittsburgh forward, 55 previous points) - Pittsburgh, after winning the Big East, seems to be the upset darling Final Four pick amongst the talking twats.
#13: Dominique Kirk (Texas A&M guard, 52 previous points)
#14: Taj Gibson (USC forward, 51 previous points) - You mean somebody other than O.J. Mayo plays for USC? You know, I dig the reason behind that NBA rule, but this very obvious one-and-done shit in college basketball is just as stupid as guys going straight from high school.
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