Now we get to the retarded no-names, as I delve into the top fourteen overall picks in the draft out of colleges in my home state of Virginia that aren't UVA or Virginia Tech. Hampton has some sort of proactive movement to actually get players into the NFL, but other than that, it's hit or miss for Virginia's second tier of college football athlete. So come with me through the lower level of upper echelon amateur football standouts from my stupid homeland..
#1: Justin Durant (Hampton linebacker, 48th overall pick in 2007 by the Jacksonville Jaguars) - Durant actually got on the field last year and did well and has a good chance to win a starting spot at outside linebacker this year, and maybe help force Mike Peterson out of a job, being he is paid highly and over-the-hill at age 33.
#2: Cordell Taylor (Hampton cornerback, 57th overall pick in 1998 by the Jacksonville Jaguars) - Taylor bounced around the NFL from a few teams for two years before getting bounced from the league without ever even scoring an actual on-field tackle.
#3: Darren Sharper (William & Mary safety, 60th overall pick in 1997 by the Green Bay Packers) - Had a big career in Green Bay, parlaying that into a sizeable free agent contract to continue in Minnesota, where he is their elder statesman on defense, meaning he's likely to get cut due to salary cap issues. The Vikings defensive line should be ridiculous now with short-and-long party haired Jared Allen joining those two fat negroes with the last name Williams on the defensive line. Now if they can just hike the ball straight to Adrian Petersen on offense, maybe they'll be good.
#4: Curtis Keaton (James Madison running back, 97th overall pick in 2000 by the Cincinnati Bengals) - Had a big year in his second season as a kick returner for the Bengals, then got cut and after sort of playing for the Saints, disappeared. He is probably working at UPS now, which is the standard joke for washed-up football dreams gone awry.
#5: Shawn Barber (Richmond linebacker, 113th overall pick in 1998 by the Washington Redskins) - I always liked Shawn Barber while he was with the Redskins, because he wasn't a retard, though he was smallish for a linebacker. Then when he went to play for the Eagles, I had to hate him forever. He has been around a little and just got cut by the Texans, which serves him right for betraying the Redskins.
#6: Jerome Mathis (Hampton wide receiver, 114th overall pick in 2005 by the Houston Texans) - Dude's from Petersburg, which was a notorious crack-addled death zone in the '80s (featured in Time magazine) and has never been a choice place to live at. He set collegiate kick returning records for yardage, and was very successful (Pro Bowler) returning in the NFL. And he is the Washington Redskins, my beloved team's big free agency signing this offseason. A kick returner. So that's all we really needed to improve on from last year, was to let our coach leave, run off his most important assistants, and get a new kick returner. Which means Rock Cartwright might be gone, and Rock Cartwright is the best-named football player the Redskins have had in twenty years.
#7: Macey Brooks (James Madison wide receiver, 127th overall pick in 1997 by the Dallas Cowboys) - Briefly dabbled with a fringe professional career with the Chicago Bears, but is now nobody again, at least as far as google is concerned.
#8: Muneer Moore (Richmond wide receiver, 154th overall pick in 2000 by the Denver Broncos) - Apparently, through internet consultation, Broncos fans thought Muneer Moore, a fifth round draft pick, was going to be some sort of super receiver, perhaps buying into the Mike Shanahan is genius belief. He didn't turn out to be that great receiver, but he also didn't get shot at a night club.
#9: Ralph Hunter (Virginia Union cornerback, 168th overall pick in 2002 by the Dallas Cowboys) - I don't know if he ever played or not, but the fact a dude from Virginia Union got drafted is great. Virginia Union and Virginia State are local archrival traditionally all-black motherfuckers colleges around Richmond, and mostly VUU is known for it's Division II dynasty basketball team (coached by a funny-haired white guy), but I guess their football team has been good at times too. I don't know though. When you ride by their football field, it's like wrapped in chain link fence and doesn't even look like bigger high school football fields do. So props to Mr. Ralph Hunter.
#10: Ed Perry (James Madison tight end, 177th overall pick in 1997 by the Miami Dolphins) - Perry is one of those small college success stories, getting snagged in the sixth ground, and playing for seven seasons, eventually getting lost in the coaching shuffle that Bill Parcels is going to magically fix-er-up.
#11: Marc Megna (Richmond linebacker, 183rd overall pick in 1999 by the New York Jets) - Well, Marc Megna did not have a successful NFL career, but he did get to pose as a beefcake in Cosmo magazine and then move onto to motivational speaking. Who better to motivate you than some prep jock muscle geek?
#12: Zuriel Smith (Hampton wide receiver, 186th overall pick in 2003 by the Dallas Cowboys) - He was on the Cowboys roster for a couple of seasons; I remember because back when I would do my yearly wacky named player lists, he was always a candidate at WR. After a few years bouncing around as a practice squad member, he's gone from the NFLs.
#13: Antico Dalton (Hampton linebacker, 199th overall pick in 1999 by the Minnesota Vikings) - Bounced around the lower levels of the NFL, but found his place as a dominant foreign defensive lineman for the Edmonton Eskimos of that crazy Canadian Foozball Ligua.
#14: Tony Booth (James Madison safety, 211th overall pick in 1999 by the Carolina Panthers) - Was a back-up safety for a minute, then poof... he was gone. The greatest trick the devil ever played was making you think he didn't exist.
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