The NFL draft goes down this coming weekend, so I wanted to nerd out upon that theme this week in preparation, and came up with a couple of lists in relations there of. The draft this year's is pretty big around here (I live about 20 miles south of Charlottesville, VA, where University of Virginia is located) because defensive end Chris Long is going to be a very high pick, perhaps even number one overall. Which makes sense because I don't think in my short time on this earth I've ever seen where a defensive player actually was the gamebreaker in helping a team win a couple of their wins at the college level. But Chris Long did that this past season. He took over games, getting safeties for the win, or causing fumbles singlehandedly. The dude was beyond the college level, so it will be fun to watch him in the pros, especially considering he's a fucking weird ass dude too.
Anyways, what I did was go through the drafts in a reminiscent mood over the past decade's drafts, and figure out the top 14 (by overall pick) draftees to come out of the University of Virginia Cavaliers family in that time. I was raised a Cavaliers fan, and the longer I live near the university, the harder it is to root for them, but I still at least hope they do well. I have a feeling Al Groh is on a short leash, and that's probably good because they have not gotten above high mediocre under his tenure, even with some pretty high caliber recruiting classes and players (like Long). But here are the top 14 picks out of UVA in the past ten NFL drafts...
#1: D'Brickashaw Ferguson (tackle, drafted 4th overall by the New York Jets in 2006) - Jets fans of course think D'Brickashaw is a bust, but the Jets could draft Tom Brady and Ladainian Tomlinson with the same pick and Jets fans would bitch. But it's hard, no matter how good they do, to really feel good about an offensive lineman being taken that high. Offensive linemen never make the highlight plays or really break a game open in an obvious manner. Still, Ferguson was a monster and I'm sure he's doing well enough, but I try to avoid ever watching the Jets.
#2: Thomas Jones (running back, 7th overall pick by the Arizona Cardinals in 2000) - I think he's in New York now too, though I ain't sure. I know he underachieved in Arizona, which is shocking because they have a long history of people playing up to and beyond their potential, and was sent to the Bears, where he was obviously better than Cedric Benson. But the Bears are for some reason brilliant when it comes to personnel moves on the defensive side, but retarded when it comes to offense. So he was gone. And Cedric Benson was left to take the reins, which I think crippled him last year. So Thomas Jones never lived up to this 7th overall pick status, but he's still collecting millions of dollars for carrying an oblong leather egg around fancy grass fields on Sundays.
#3: James Farrior (linebacker, 8th overall pick by the New York Jets in 1997) - Farrior actually played at a high school that was in the same district as the county one county over to me, and back then he was like bigger than all the other kids. It's funny because once these guys get to the NFL, they are the same size as everybody else, but basically at a younger level they were terrorizing motherfuckers. I think he played linebacker in high school, even though he was larger and more intimidating than any defensive or offensive lineman to be found. And now he's the latest in the Steelers thirty-year rotation of bloodthirsty veteran linebackers. It also occurs to me that I went beyond the past ten years back to the 1997 draft for UVA since that was the all-time best draft class for one year out of one school for the state of Virginia.
#4: Jon Harris (defensive end, 25th overall pick by the Philadelphia Eagles in 1997) - I shouldn't have gone back that far because I have no idea who this dude is. I would look it up online but I'm off-the-internets-grid right now, kicking it in my camper, listening to Screw tapes. If I had a tape player in the house, I'd go inside and look it up, but I don't. So if it's important to you, you can look it up.
#5: Heath Miller (tight end, 30th overall pick by the Pittsburgh Steelers in 2005) - Heath Miller is a monster, and an all-around wacky white dude, just the kind of guy you'd want to be a tight end. I don't play much fantastical football, and when I do, I don't play favorites, swearing off all Redskins and Cowboys players so as to not confuse my head with heart issues, but I usually always try to snag Heath Miller. He's my good luck charm. Except I couldn't tell you honestly if I've ever done well at fantastical football.
#6: Patrick Kerney (defensive end, 30th overall pick by the Atlanta Falcons in 1999) - Stupid ugly whiteboy d-lineman for the Seahawks now, making Pro Bowls and crushing the Redskins' playoff dreams last year. So fuck him. I hope he gets Rain AIDS in Seattle.
#7: Jamie Sharper (linebacker, 34th overall pick by the Baltimore Ravens in 1997) - I can't remember if Sharper is still with the Ravens or he's been sent elsewhere as they purge their eldest least-named Ray Lewis guys from their aging defense or not. He's had a monstrous NFL career though, and was the third guy drafted that year off the Cavaliers team, and we haven't even gotten to the Barber twins.
#8: Tiki Barber (running back, 36th overall pick by the New York Giants in 1997) - Tiki, unfortunately, took over the Emmitt Smith role of being able to rush for 150 yards against the Redskins even if he was crippled at the time. Tiki is maybe the only black man more acceptable to white people than Barack Obama, and he often comes back to Charlottesville to raise awareness about things I don't pay attention to. It's also amusing to me the Giants and Tom Coughlin won a Super Bowl without him, although now that he's retired, I have no ill feelings towards Tiki Barber. In fact, with him being part of that Sunday Night Football players panel, it's hard not to like him, because he's not fucking retarded and as disease-worthy as Cris Collinsworth is.
#9: Germane Crowell (wide receiver, 50th overall pick by the Detroit Lions in 1998) - He was the Cavs big wide receiver after Herman Moore, and I guess the Lions drafted him hoping he'd serve them in the same capacity. Except Crowell never translated to the NFL like Herman Moore did. Of course, being Herman Moore played in Detroit, probably nobody remembers him.
#10: Ronde Barber (safety, 66th overall pick by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 1997) - Six draft picks in the first 66 picks... no wonder UVA felt they could overtake Florida State in prominence back then in the ACC. The Tiki/Ronde parallels are interesting, because Ronde won a Super Bowl, but has been far less controversial, most likely the difference between being in Tampa and being in NYC. Of course, Tiki's post-football options are far more numerous because of that same difference, although honestly, they could switch back and forth and I wouldn't know. It's odd that a pair of identical twins would end up so physically gifted, baldheaded, and large-mouthed. Both of them could catch apples between their teeth.
#11: Matt Schaub (quarterback, 90th overall pick by the Atlanta Falcons in 2004) - Michael Vick heir apparent traded to the Texans right before Vick got busted on dogfighting charges in one of many hilarious blunders the Falcons committed the past two years. He's a solid quarterback and should do much better than David Carr, but he's not a superstar MVP type quarterback. Still, the playoffs won't be impossible for the Texans, although hopefully they change their uniform colors before they get to that level.
#12: Angelo Crowell (linebacker, 94th overall pick by the Buffalo Bills in 2003) - Honestly, I do not know if he is still kicking it with the Bills or what. If there is one team I completely tune out, it is the Buffalo Bills. They are boring and suck and are really boring. So if he is there, I have been unable to see him in between Andy Capp-style snoozes on the couch on Sunday afternoons whenever they sneak their stupid asses onto my local television coverage.
#13: John St. Clair (center, 94th overall pick by the St. Louis Rams in 2000) - I vaguely remember this guy, but I think I remember him from playing Madden '03 a whole lot and not from real life memories. So I can't speak upon his prowess or lack thereof in the adult footballs gaming.
#14: Darryl Blackstock (linebacker, 95th overall pick by the Arizona Cardinals in 2005) - He's still with the Cards I'm fairly certain, and he played alongside Ahmad Brooks, which was supposed to be this punishing linebacking corps that was gonna put UVA over the top in the national football scene. Except Brooks had all sorts of coaching problems and ended up bailing out halfway through a season and getting picked in the supplemental draft, by the Bengals who he still plays for I think. Blackstock was the more coachable, less gifted half of that twosome.
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