SURVIVAL: teenager lackeys

Underage kids don't catch the same criminal charges as grown folks, and also tend to be braver about things like stealing shit from Wal-Mart. Most of the time, security is shoddy at stores and they rely on the threat of getting busted more than being able to catch people doing shit. Part of the perfect way God engineered this World of His is that the type of kid who would steal shit is also the type of kid who likes to get fucked up, and you are an adult who can purchase all the alcohol they might need. It is a standard barter-style give and take - you give them intoxicants and they steal shit for you. It is a good idea to befriend at least a few kids like this, but on outside ground away from your home. Those fuckers will be trying to hang out all the time.