I have been saving a big stack of stupid magazines of note and completely unnoteworthy but in my possession for whenever the internets bloggish pussy enticed me into wasting little chunks of my life again. This was one, which had a big stupid story about how some kids in a high school talked a bunch of shit on Facebook about their teacher, and all the messy bullshit that entailed. I have never even logged onto Facebook as it seems to me to be the new Myspace in the “pink is the new black” analogy, and Myspace is one of the stupidest fucking things I’ve ever waited to upload bullshit on my rural dial-up internet welfare machine.
There was also an article on the New York Mets starting rotation for this year, which was hilarious. You know, as much as I hate baseball and baseball players and baseball fans, it’s really hard to not like Pedro Martinez. Manny Ramirez too. That must’ve been some team when those two and David Ortiz were all kicking it together in the locker room… chicken fights and jobu sacrifices and midget mascots galore. It’s enough to help me forget what a bunch of stupid cockfuckers Red Sox fans usually are. Whenever I see some dumbass walk by in the grocery store (in fucking central Virginia) wearing a Boston hat - and it’s always the uber-fan alternate red hat with blue B on it - I know that a complete fucking asshole is walking past. Used to be I would think hateful things about them, but I’m mostly a peaceable man at this stage in my life, and I’m sure they’ll get it all back in spades when they raise their kids to be stupid fuckasses like themselves.
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