August O.C.D. #4: Dirt Track Racing video game

This is a computer game that probably nobody on earth still plays except me, but it’s just a shitty race car game based on dirt tracks. You can race regular stock cars (which has three classes), or pro stock cars where you can customize bullshit (with five classes), or bonafide late models just like at Eastside Speedway (with four classes). But rather than just play the game, I have to be all parametric about it and set up a plan for conquering it, or at least immersing myself in it, which I’ve done on two other computers as well, but just in the past five weeks set the bitch up on my latest computer (I think the game’s from around 2000 or so).
Basically, each class year-to-year has its own schedule with its own set of dates, sometimes conflicting with other classes, so what I did was just start with the lowest stock class and run the three lowest classes I’d never won first place for the year in, going with the lowest as most important, marking them off my list as I finished first for the year. I am deeper into the game this time than ever before, having won all three stock classes, and beaten the first two pro stock classes in the same year (which is amazing dork game accomplishment, right up there with finding the perfect way to run through the Pac Man final screen on the Atari 2600 one day when I was ten, but having to abandon to go to All-Star practice, even though all I was was the shitty left fielder on the All-Star team), and am about four races away from finishing my sixth year, where unless I become retarded from a car accident but still play video games, I’ll beat another level of pro stock. That means I’ll start doing the late models, which go too fast for dirt, so you have to do the illogical thing of turning your wheels the opposite way of what you’d think to control your slides through curves. Luckily, the last pro stock class is a figure eight one, to learn you about using the right turn arrow cursor as well. I used to always use #69, like anybody with my limited cultural upbringing would choose, but this time I went with #0, all into that Agent Zero mantra by Gilbert Arenas (who is putting a million dollar shark tank into his house, with three sharks because that’s all the guy who would get them for him said he’d climb into feed). It was after this that I noticed with the computer drivers, usually the guys with the lower number (which starts with #1) do the best in each class. So I have been working under the assumption that I actually benefitted myself with computer love (you know how games will just screw you over oftentimes) by having the lowest number possible.
I can see this falling off the list pretty quickly though, as just like in real life, once football season starts, I don’t give a fuck about race cars. My newfound retarded Madden ‘08 project will probably preempt Dirt Track Racing dorkery. So hopefully this computer won’t become dead or poisoned by devils like my other ones (I now have a shitty cheap laptop that I relegate all questionable things like music stealing and masturbatory inspiration searches to, which keeps my main one more pure) and I can pick up again next spring.