Lion Stout

AFFORDABILITY: I will just disclose from jump that I have gotten into homebrewing lately, and also quit drinking for about two months the end of last year, so I have this weird change in drinking where I drink good beers and not to get all obliterated (although I do get half-right regularly). Also, being I am homebrewing, I need big pop top bottles for putting my own beers into after they've fermented under the staircase in 6-gallon buckets long enough, so I tend to buy shit like this Lion Stout, which was only listed in milliliters, but I think it's a 22 ounce bottle, that cost like $2.50. In my newfound hippie chick beer-drinking mind frame, I'd put that at a 4 out of 5 ranking, even though I could've conceivably gotten two forties of Miller High Life for the same price. I am admitting my shortcomings.
DESTROYABILITY: 8% alcohol content, and it doesn't taste like it like most high alcohol content brands. It does not taste like ass, and two of them are a good priming of my night for a couple of Yuenglings from the back of the fridge to sit around, half-sloshed, and think about making screwed and chopped mixes of early '90s NYC rap jams with the Ableton bootleg I've not yet actually installed on my computer because I can't figure out which one to dedicate to it. 3 out of 5.
LABEL AESTHETIC: Floating lion head majestically looking to the left, although I like to imagine the rest of the unseen pic is a lion body hitting Kim Kardashian from behind, paws ripping up her back. The bottom line of the L in Lion is also a golden lion tail. 3 out of 5.
CORPORATE MASTER: It just says like four times it's bottled and brewed by some shit in Sri Lanka, which means it's brewed by 7-year-olds. It's imported by some shit called Elite Brands from Kalamazoo, Michigan, and it has a quote on the back from Michael Jackson, the famed beer critic (who is all up in my homebrewing books), complete with a picture so you know it's not the main Michael Jackson. Although I think a beer brewed by children with an unpictured endorsement from a Michael Jackson would go over good with the hipster set once they graduate from their PBR phase (if they ever do). 4 out of 5.
OVERALL AMBIANCE: A solid beer. I enjoyed it and if I ever become the type of dude who owns white tigers on leashes in my yard, I'm gonna drink this shit on the regular. 4 out of 5.
TOTAL RATING: 3 & 3/5 STARS!