MNZ: Ozone Issue #68

I should not be buying a fucking Ozone after that bitch Julia Beverly ripped me off on a subscription (well, actually, my wife), but then again, who subscribes to magazines anymore, especially incredibly shoddy ghetto-ass ones like this? But I will review with fresh eyes nonetheless. First thing, the west coast partial section of the magazine should just be dropped completely, because it’s useless. You can mix a Too Short interview into a regular issue of Ozone, and it will make sense, and other than that, there’s little reason to give a fuck about the west coast, especially when you built your base on obscure southern rappers galore, hoping one of them got famous to show and prove your point of how down you are. But honestly, the Rap Quest feature of local scene reports is about the best thing in any music magazine going today, and a lot like the old Maximum Rock-n-Roll scene reports. A year ago when I last saw an issue, it was only half the size it is now, the local report feature, so hopefully when another year passes and I forgot to be vindictive about the ten dollars my wife wasted (which, really, I waste that daily two or three times over anyways) and I buy another issue, I hope it’s ballooned to like 20 pages of those things. Also, the Bun B “Gangsta” song (or whatever it’s called) with Sean Kingston doing the hook made me like Sean Kingston even though I know he’s a shitty fake-ragga guy. Well, I guess they have a feature in Ozone about diamond medallions, and Sean Kingston was in this issue talking about his medallion. You know what it was? A fucking box of Crayola crayons. No shit. Recreated in diamonds at an exorbitant price. And he was really proud of it, because it was different. It was sad, and I bet Obama would lose tons of votes if old paranoid voting registered white people could see that page of this magazine, because they’d hate black people from it. Sometimes I think that’s Julia Beverly’s secret plan. Like she can be a down ass white gurl right now and get mad jungle fever prescriptions for what’s itching her, but in the long run, she’s just gonna make some cash and make black people look stupid.
Haha, I happened to read last night about this year’s Ozone Awards fight, which was Trae confronting Mike Jones for calling himself the President of Houston when he doesn’t even represent the city like he should, so Trae sucker punched him. Mike Jones was bummed because if he had known that was gonna happen, he wouldn’t have brought his mama. Man, I love the rap musics.