Big Nasty Porter

AFFORDABILITY: I actually have no recollection of how much this cost, as I got it at the same time I got that free double deuce of James River Pale Ale. I will figure that into the cost, and also assume since it was a local brewery there for Richmond, it was not as obscene as many 22 ounce bottles of microbrew bullshit can go for. 4 out of 5.
DESTROYABILITY: It had good enough alcohol content, you could taste it. It was just hard to force it into my throat because of the bitter taste. I came to a realization, which was pretty obvious, but never occurred to me before drinking this. I have always thought I loved a good porter, except there's so many porters that taste like ass to me. This is because most porters taste like chocolate and coffee mixed together into the beer. The only ones I like are just straight up chocolate shit. I drink maybe five cups of coffee a year, and hate people who drink that shit all the time. So the last thing I want to do is have my beer taste like a dirty ass cup of coffee. But I guess that's some folks thing. 1 out of 5.
LABEL AESTHETIC: Honestly, the label looks like it was designed by a guy who couldn't get into the Marines from New Jersey, who has a Tasmanian devil tattoo on his semi-muscular arm. Lots of primary colors mixed with black, and I guess that's supposed to be striking, but it looks kind of stupid. Props though for the odd shape of the label, tricking your eye into thinking the bottle's actually painted. 2 out of 5.
CORPORATE MASTER: Richbrau Brewing Company in Richmond, Virginia. There are two micro spots in Richmond - Legend and Richbrau. Legend was in this shitty ass industrial neighborhood where like five blocks over you could get robbed by crack addicts. Richbrau was in the cobblestone streets of Shockoe Slip, home of big money youthful douchebags. I always assumed Richbrau was a piece of shit place, just because of where it was located in town, although I think I've gotten drunk there a number of times. Did they used to have a bunch of pool tables on the second floor? I don't trust Richbrau though, being it's in Shockoe Slip. Probably some old money assed bitches, finding a money-making hobby for their leisure lifestyle. 2 out of 5.
OVERALL AMBIANCE: Everything about this did not make me feel good. Cup of coffee beer, with a goofy assed label that made me too self-aware, from a place I don't remember enjoying too much when I lived in Richmond. I guess since then I've had some good friends' bands play there, but that has nothing to do with me firsthand. My experiences were not good, and I didn't enjoy this beer. I can't outright fault it for anything, but I will never probably buy another one. 2 out of 5.
TOTAL RATING: 2 & 1/5 STARS!