NFL WK 16: Playoff Contenders

This was supposed to be last week's listing, so I am going to pre-date it and let it fly, but I am not going to write much because I don't feel like pretending I've been motivated that much...

#1: DALLAS COWBOYS (9-5, 3rd overall) - Watching the Cowboys implode on slow burn is about the only entertainment left this season for a Redskins fan. I hope they make the playoffs just to add to their turmoil.

#2: PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (8-5-1, 7th overall) - What I had written last week was all about how the Redskins were sure to lose. But they didn't. Donovan McNabb should probably get a highlight montage up on youtube for next season.

#3: MINNESOTA VIKINGS (9-5, 9th overall) - The Tarvaris Jackson to Viasanthe Shiancoe era promises to be more blacktacular in the long run than Michael Vick to Alge Crumpler.

#4: BALTIMORE RAVENS (9-5, 10th overall) - Flacco-mania runs a-wild in Bodymore. Amazing how they seem to be the best they've ever been in recent memory the year after self-described genius Brian Billick is gone to the CBS broadcasting booth, where, to be honest, he's not as annoying as I suspected.

#5: ATLANTA FALCONS (9-5, 11th overall) - Matt Ryan is apparently God's gift to the NFL, according to common sports memes. This means he is two years from crucifixion.

#6: NEW YORK JETS (9-5, 14th overall) - Man, Brett Favre... what a fucking tool. I don't even like using that word "tool" and hardly ever do in real life, but I figure in the case a Jets fan sees this, I'd use the douchebag terminology those types tend to use.

#7: MIAMI DOLPHINS (9-5, 16th overall) - Bill Parcells saves the day again, for the umpteenth time. Will this be yet another limited time engagement?

#8: NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (9-5, 17th overall) - I hate to admit it, but this season has actually made Bill Belichick look like the great coach he is always annoyingly proclaimed to be. Good looking out Belichick, proving the haters wrong yet again.