Love: I love the way my simple assed paranoid mind works, that there's always a conspiracy behind things. I read the story of that Chinaman dude in Canada who cut the carney kid's head off on the Greyhound, and it made me think of how the one Chinese guy cut off a Chinese girl's head at Virginia Tech a month or two ago. I mean, cutting a head off a body can't be easy. But when I was reading the story today about the Greyhound killer (who got off because God had told him to do it), I got all spooked like there was some sleeper cell Chinese beheading crew walking among us all. So I went to the trusty internet (of course, started by the Department of Defense as an agent of disinformation), and the explanation was far simpler than I imagined. You see, in China, they still have public executions by beheadement, so it's not out of the frame of reference of your average Chinaman to have that in their minds when they get all bugged out and want to get medieval on somebody.
Hate: Pretty much everything. I haven't been doing shit creatively lately, haven't been working much at all, am broke as fuck, wrecked my truck into a deer, had to settle for aftermarket parts since no junkyard within three states had my shit, applied for food stamps, borrowed more fucking money from my mom, not much sexing going on, kids be needing thangs... it's just a lot going on. I have been reading more (meaning reading) which is nice. I never actually read books anymore because I feel it's a waste of the little free time I have. The thing is, I'm reading now because instead of thinking I'm gonna write dumbass books, I'm starting to think maybe I should just watch more old Hercules movies and forget about trying to actually do something with my life. I mean fuck it, I'm typecast by now. This all goes against my whole 36 year spiral of soaking it in, 36 year spiral of shooting it out theory that is part of the Rojonekku Redneck Ninja Manual (a work in progress), but I am full of contradictions. And then again, it's gonna be warm enough to kick it in the camper this weekend, rock out some hobo raps. The wife got her wizdom teeth yanked, so there's hydrocodone in the house. It feels like one of those rebirth spring weather let's get fucked up like the world's ending type of feelings building up.
1 comment:
mate we all get down on whether we're doing shit or just wasting time... i'm up and down like a fucking yoyo but this week i'll try up - send a manuscript off, write some words, stay off the booze for a couple of days... long as we can stay reasonably true to ourselves that's all that matters... and at least yre coming into the spring, we're slowly heading towards winter
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