The first round has come and gone, and these are the fourteen guys stealing scholarships from more deserving young people to bounce a fucking orange ball around for big money for the universities on the TV that have scored the most points thus far in their allegedly amateur career in the NCAA March Madness tournament. This list shifted around a bit from the Friday one, because that part of the tournament actually was fun to watch...
#1: Sherron Collins (Kansas Jayhawks, 107 previous tourney points) - He must have bloggered himself and saw me talk shit, because he lit up North Dakota State like mad on Friday. Of course, that is just N.D. State, but still, perhaps I shouldn't talk so much shit. Haha, like anybody reads this, much less the people I talk shit about. I am public, yet anonymous. Welcome to the future. #2: Levance Fields (Pitt Panthers, 99 previous tourney points) - Had a quiet yet efficient first round game for the #1 seed Pitt Panthers, which is really what you'd hope for from a point guard. #3: Sam Young (Pitt Panthers, 98 previous tourney points) - Pretty much works with the above Fields to be the perfect complement and set-up pairing for DeJuan Blair inside. #4: Taj Gibson (USC Magnums, 85 previous tourney points) - Led his team over Boston College on Friday, and really, they don't have that bad a team, and if Taj can keep it hype, not shocking to imagine them beating a rather unheralded Michigan State team. #5: Earl Clark (Louisville, 84 previous tourney points) - Hard to really gauge what Louisville's all about after routing a #16 seed. #6: Edgar Sosa (Louisville, 80 previous tourney points) - PUERTO RICO! HOOOOOOO! BLACK PEOPLE! HOOOOO! #7: Jerry Smith (Louisville, 77 previous tourney points) - A common man's name builds a fundamentally-solid player to lay the foundation for his flashier teammate's success. I don't know all that to be true at all, but it reads well. #8: Raymar Morgan (Michigan State, 75 previous tourney points) - Raymar has promised to show the world "something you haven't seen" during this tournament. I am wondering if he's not an Al-Qaeda cell, fixing to blow up the Triple H Metrodome. #9: Jerel McNeal (Marquette Golden Eagles, 74 previous tourney points) - Honestly, as bad as they've played the last month or so, I was shocked they won. They were my 1st Round Upset Special Lock of the Week. Good thing I don't gamble. Unless you consider over-extending myself through credit to where it all could crash in on me at some point, causing me to lose what few actual financial assets I have amassed as gambling. #10: Derrick Brown (Xavier Muscatels, 74 previous tourney points) - I used to look at this hobo book at my college library, and there was this martini glass graffiti saying "THE RAMBLER". I thought that mentally noteworthy. One time, while walking four miles home from the used book store one Sunday afternoon while living on southside, where I'd bought a $1 Thoreau collection, being I only had $1, a train came and I had to wait for it to pass. And I saw a martini glass "THE RAMBLER" graff on a grey boxcar. I was adrenalinized by this. #11: Terence Williams (Louisville, 72 previous tourney points) - Another Louisville Cardinal. #12: Goran Sutton (Michigan State Spartan athlete, 66 previous tourney points) - Senior center, at 6'10" is a towering presence because, for some reason, nobody grows tall anymore, unless they are some weird oafy kid from Russia. You'd think with all the hormones in our food and milk, and how girls are all growing way larger breasts now, dudes would be getting taller, and we'd have more 7-footers in the NCAAs, but it doesn't seem to be working that way. #13: Jason Bohannon (Wisconsin, 62 previous tourney points) - Solid Badger contributor for a couple years now, and still has another season of eligilibity to go. Wisconsin vs. Xavier should give me time for an Andy Capp-style nap on the couch this afternoon. #14: Dominic James (Marquette, 62 previous tourney points) - And all he did was wave a towel around on the end of the bench. You've actually got to feel bad for the dude, being their best player, but broken-footed, and impotent to help out with the game at all, although he's got the same, if not more, emotional investment than his teammates does.
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