October O.C.D. #2: Hot Peppers & Early Mornings

My wife learns the herbalism witchcraft and knows the Ayurvedic thangs of our inner Constitutions, and lately I’ve found that if I eat hot peppers all the time and get up early when the rooster calls (literally at my compound), I have a much more productive day. I used to think I was a night owl, which might have been true in my younger days, but now it seems if I get rolling early on, I hit the dumpster and get the good wilted cantaloupes for the chickens, and get a good long day at work, breathing in the fine sanded dust of progress deep down into my lungs. At that point, I come home, shower up, and so long as I don’t sit down on the deep ass couch we got from our friends last winter, I am awake and rearing to go for a few more hours to do word things inside the guts of cybertronic machines. It is a great life when these days happen, because I feel like I’m maximizing my potential. My wife told me this is my kafa (of kaffa or kapha of kafka or something... I don’t pretend to know) and I shouldn’t overindulge in either the hot peppers or the super-early mornings.
I have found my favorite peppers are the anaheims. I don’t really eat jalapenos so much... oh wait, I forgot, if there’s serrano peppers that aren’t just green but have red and orange color to them as well, that’s the ones I want most. I like slow sautéing up a little frying pan of hot peppers and sweet onions and mixing them in with whatever we eat normal that night. It does me good. And I have learned to chop the peppers on our second cutting board (one only used for hot peppers) with the plastic bag I bring them home in used as a glove, so I don’t do that thing where you rub your eye with your fingers afterwards and have burning eyeballs for half an hour. Also, there’s nothing worse than cutting hot peppers and then taking a piss and then your penis is burning for twenty minutes like you were wearing jeans with a zipper standing too close to a bonfire with no underwear on, but only right around the spot you were holding it at. Often times I fear I have a yeast infection, and then I remember I was cutting hot peppers earlier, and plus, I don’t cheat on my wife, unless we’re playing Parcheesi for sexual favors.