Springhouse Farmhouse Ale

(There would've been a picture from beeradvocate.com here, but they are bitches about copying images in the year 2009, and fruits about beer. Fuck them.)
AFFORDABILITY: There was a beer festival in my little town, with $30 drink tickets that got you a bunch of little tastes of different beers, and then you could buy bigger beers for extra. No kids were allowed, which made it out of my frame of possibility, and held in our little town’s nice new Farmer’s Market structure, even though the Farmer’s Market is kind of hit or miss. My little town is retarded, building shit like that even though the use is minimal, or burying all the power lines on the main street of town (which is called Valley Street and intersects with a Main Street, which is not the main street), drying up all the small businesses, and speeding up the rapid turnover rate of such little mom-and-pop shops. Nothing thrives, and the town has no real long-term vision other than some simplistic ass Sim City “Let’s make it look all nice and shit and magically businesses will appear meaning magically other people will appear meaning their money will appear. YAY!” Of course, none of it comes to pass. But the Country Blessings store that opened in a convenience/country store spot that has turned over four or five times in my decade here, it’s not a bad deal. And after the beer festival, which was right there in the park by this corner store, there were these weird beers I’d never heard of in boxes on the edges of the floor. This big bottle of Farmhouse Al was the most affordable one, at like $4.50, so I guess relative to the $7.50 24 oz. bottles of fauntleroy brews it was sitting beside, it’s affordable. But I ain’t no fauntleroy. If I couldn’t afford the stupid beer festival, I probably shouldn’t have bought this Farmhouse Ale either. 1 out of 5.
DESTROYABILITY: It alleges a higher alcohol content, and the one bottle cleared my mind of fringe worries, but the underlying paranoias were still there, and at the cost tag per bottle, despite the alleged bac-boost, I ain't gonna drank away my blues. Good enough I guess, but hard to tell with just one bottle when you're tolerance is so skewed by pure alcoholic halfway down the family tree as far as you see. 2 out of 5.
LABEL AESTHETIC: The label’s a little too glossy for my grimy tastes, but it’s not repulsive. The interesting thing is the display where I got it said you should go online and register your bottle. Your bottle of beer. And on the label it says “Limited Release” right underneath of a gold block with “0742 of 2008” printed on it. I assume this means they only made 2008 bottles of this beer, which seems a little weird to me. And why would you do it only for the year you made it, increasing only one bottle each year? Again, seems odd. But I give them credit for their strange limited edition angle, although I’m not entirely sure I see the benefit of that as compared to making wine. Beer, even nice microbrew type hoity-toity shit, is still just beer, and not too hard to make in your own kitchen if your household can imagine a little Betty Crocker/Stephen Buhner philosophical intercourse action. I will say though, the background of the label looks pretty pixelated out, though it might just be the grassy areas as it’s a faded out country outbuilding surrounding by the wilderness, and that blurred up and dripped out know what I’m talking about style makes me feel good. Really, that’s all a label is trying to do, ease your stupid mind. 4 out of 5.
CORPORATE MASTER: It is called Williamsburg AleWerks, so says the label. Williamsburg is some sort of uncool town where everyone I know from there who is okay is long gone from being around there. The thick history, regularly cleansed for public consumption, probably just adds to the local oppression. It’s not major label by any means, but it’s also a white ass place, so I’m sure if it could be part of the elite’s master plan, it would gladly sign up. I can’t truss it. 2 out of 5.
OVERALL AMBIANCE: It is whatever. There is nothing I would brag about upon this beer's experience, nor anything to make me really hate it. I guess the whole process of buying a beer from Williamsburg, Virginia, for too many dollars per one bottle, at a store that specializes in stuff white people like, that whole action on my part sort of makes me uncomfortable, because I'm not from that comfortable world, and I should stop perpetrating with all this high dollar beer. 0 out of 5.
TOTAL RATING: 1 & 4/5 STARS!