Dundee Honey Brown

AFFORDABILITY: The Dundee Honey Brown 12-pack was on markdown at the Kroger grocery store place, and it came out to a quite affordable 12-pack of the pop top bottles (although it was probably actually twist top... used to be that was the true test of whether a beer was high brow or not, but now a bunch of pseudo-high brow beers come in twist top bottles; my theory is that they have moved to this when owned by larger breweries to keep people from homebrewing because pop tops are the only ones you can successfully use in homebrewing, and I also have a paranoia that everything is out to stop any D.I.Y. mentality whatsoever from existing in us till we're all a bunch of veal calves in cubicles, waiting for our R&D government to feed, fund, and direct us, for their profit and probably fake prophets too). 4 out of 5.
DESTROYABILITY: Dundee Honey Brown apparently used to be my wife's beer of choice when she lived in Athens, Georgia, but something is different about it now according to her. I remember us drinking it sometimes in our early dating days when we wanted something mellow instead of a 30-pack of Budweiser (which seemed to be rarely), and I didn't like it back then, but I didn't like much of anything back then. This here Dundee Honey Brown that we've been buying lately, I can enjoy it, and it's in that cheap good 12-pack range like Yuengling and Killian's Red, if either of those are considered good (which they aren't to beer dorks, because nothing is ever good enough), and I can see this becoming a steady staple in my diet, which I might've mentioned, but I drink a lot so it's hard to remember every goddamn stupid talking point I make in these stupid endless nothing posts. 5 out of 5.
LABEL AESTHETIC: The remodulated Dundee Honey Brown bottle labels are pretty nifty, in a nice honey color, with some marching band looking bumblebee getting his caricature on. It's nothing that would make a good poster or anything, but if ever there was a beer bottle label that would look great on an old t-shirt found in a thrift store that benefits retarded Christian veterans of domestic wars, this would be the one. And that is high praise. 5 out of 5.
CORPORATE MASTER: They portend being owned by theyselves but you can tell something is up. I don't trust nobody no more, fuckin' Obama accepting peace prizes talking about going to war. Nothing even cares to be full of shit anymore. At least they used to pretend, in wrestling and political debates and commercials and everything. Now they're just like, "Our shit gives you cancer, we're going to war Nobel Peace Prize, and let's talk about blah blah blah ratings merchandise bottom line advertising search optimization." Here's an embedded search optimization hook-up for your ass - stupid bitches die world blow up let's go end times fuck you all . 2 out of 5.
OVERALL AMBIANCE: I enjoy this here Dundee Honey Brown beer thing. It reminds me of what the dad from the Berenstein Bears would drink. Hopefully he drinks too much over at the big dog, little dog house, and the little dog also drinks too much, but big dog doesn't drink at all, and little dog wants to drive Pa Berenstein home to his tree but little dog doesn't want any of them to drive because those two have been drinking Dundee Honey Browns since 1 pm and big dog is too tired from his night shift at the Wal-Mart Distribution Center to drive, but little dog does it anyways, in that big long ass car, and they don't wreck, because drinking and driving doesn't always end in tragedy. Don't let late night TV PSAs fool you. I know with a big long car driven by a drunk little dog ready made for extended crumple zone jokes, or the Berensteins living in an oak tree and that whole "whiskey bottle, brand new car, oak tree you're in my way" thing, you thought I was gonna make them wreck. But I didn't. You shouldn't be so tragic. 5 out of 5.
TOTAL RATING: 4 & 1/5 STARS!