Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat

AFFORDABILITY: I did not buy this 6-pack of Leninkugel's, but I have seen their communist products at the Kroger before, oftentimes in sale mode. So if we were to pretend I bought it, I know I could cop it at a decently acceptable rate of payout. And yet it came to my house around the Christmas holidays for free, upon the purchase of my bro-in-law, and we annoyed my wife by sitting around drinking them and playing Super Mario Wii for hours even though we promised we wouldn't. But she knew we would. 4 out of 5.
DESTROYABILITY: For the most part, in my short time on this Earth rock, I have found that wheat beers taste like a citrusy ass. I worked for this dude one time who was a good dude and he had gotten beer of the month memberships from his dad-in-law, but often times got crappy wheat beers, so he gave them to me as a token of his goodness, although he knew it was crappy beer. And it was. Always. But you see, this is the first wheat beer that I've ever enjoyed enough to slam a parcel of them at once to get my crooked walk on with. This Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat is actually a tasty beer, and I went out of my way to actually buy more of it, of my own volition. In fact, since this often seems to be on sale at the Kroger, I could see it becoming a rotational staple in my beer-drinking diet, one of those beers that I get every now and then, probably for a party, to be all left field beer dork guy with. And oddly enough, my littlest sister gave me three of these for a Christmas present, without even knowing I liked it or had ever drank it. It is obvious the Universe wants me to get Sunset Wheat drunk. 5 out of 5.
LABEL AESTHETIC: The Leinenkugel attitude towards the label is to be consistent between flavors yet kinda low budget on the art tip, although I guess when you are comparing yourself to the megabrew cans of beer, then any artwork is great artwork. There is no way to know for sure, but I have always assumed the two great companies in the field of subliminal advertising, as it applies to coming up with new ways to trick brains into thinking about their products, are Budweiser and Pepsi. Especially Pepsi. Their fake Obama logo they switched to right after the election was brilliant, and all the strange specialty cans they do chock full of naked women you don't see are great, enough to make the Land of Lakes naked tittie Indian girl blush. The Sunset Wheat bottle, with the normal Leinenkugel banners and swirls, is some dudes on a lake with a sunset... Normal Rockwell enough. But the odd thing is their style really has not distinguishable style. Kinda boring in other words. 2 out of 5.
CORPORATE MASTER: I know the fine folks from the Leinenkugel's Brewery thanks to the Steve Czaban AM sports talking show that used to be on Fox Sports Radio before the local station decided that people actually gave a fuck about UVA athletics enough to have a 3 hour morning local call-in show commandeered by some dude who sounds like he's whispering with a big bite of a turkey sandwich in his mouth all the time. My personal mindless driving accompaniment of AM sports radio goes back further than I'd like to admit, back to shit like The Fabulous Sports Babe and Tony Bruno still on ESPN radio on Sunday nights. Good lord, that's pathetic. But in all that time, Steve Czaban has been one of the better dudes, so good in fact, I've never looked up a picture of him on the internet because that always ruins how good you think of a talk radio person, seeing their real face. And one thing Czaban would hype up, mostly because it was a paid sponsor, but his endorsements went beyond the normal call of duty and you could tell he genuinely enjoyed the products he was pitching, was Leinenkugel's beers. Used to be I'd be like, "What the fuck's a Leinenkugel? That sounds fruity." But now that I've seen it and had it and can understand it to be a real thing and not just crazy shit transmitting from amplituded modulation radio waves, it doesn't seem so fruity. I bet Mr. Leinenkugel himself gets together to play golf with Steve Czaban, who is not a weird looking dude at all, and they watch old Redskins games together afterwards, remembering the great times. Ahh... it's enough to make me go to the back alley independent grocery store run by Koreans and see if they have some Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat so I can buy it with my last month of food stamps. 4 out of 5.
OVERALL AMBIANCE: I think I enjoyed the Sunset Wheat, but I can't be sure. I'll have to buy more. I know at first I was all about it and guzzling it down, then I think my good sister gave me some but I mixed it up in my head and associated it with my wacky sister so started not to like the Sunset Wheat as much. And I try to act like others are the confused ones. My mind is a mass-mixed smorgasbord of nonsense, paranoias, faded memories, and things I read one time somewhere or another. Oh well. Maybe I'll read this and decide to get drunk tonight. Man, when I used to do my zine regularly, and had little care for being respectable, and no family to be responsible for, that was always a sign it was a really good issue of my zine, if I got drunk enough that when I was reading it, I didn't remember writing it. Now I sit here with a shirt tucked into pants, stone cold sober, meandering the minutes away. Hard to say which was better. Actually, it's not, I just don't like to admit it out loud. Sigh... 4 out of 5.
TOTAL RATING: 3 & 4/5 STARS!