Olde Richmond Brown Ale

AFFORDABILITY: Hey, the Olde Richmond is a big thick double deuce bottle that the fancy beers call as a pint plus six ounces I got at the Country Blessings store, which means one beer was like between $4 and $5, which is a deep dig down into the empty wine gallon bottle turned into change jar. And scooping up all those pennies and nickels, if you're early in the dumping/refilling change jar cycle, ain't all that easy, looking around to make sure you don't leave a stray so the baby don't try to eat it. Hard to trust a fancy lad bottle with painted label instead of printed one, especially if they're not militant about having you bring their bottles back. By painting them, they're marking them for useless. 1 out of 5.
DESTROYABILITY: I drank this beer but only one of them because the price is not accomodating to my type of desensitivity to alcohol. As far as brown ales go, this was one of those beers that puts itself in a big fancy bottle and portends it's something special, but really, whatever man. I have often times since drinking this a few months ago gone into grocery stores with good beer selections with the sole idea of buying a big bottle of some fancy ass fauntleroy beer, and this would be one of the only non-Corona, Red Stripe, Beck's choices available, and I always am like, "Man, fuck that Olde Richmond Brown Ale bullshit," and I end up buying a 6-pack of Yuengling instead. 0 out of 5.
LABEL AESTHETIC: The Olde Richmond Brown Ale bottle is really fucking annoying. First off, it's not even a label but that screenprinted paint bottle type shit that annoys homebrewers the world over, because you can't remove the label to put your own dumb shit on it instead. Secondly, to be a printed bottle, it's pretty fucking boring at that, with a big giant "4" and the name wrapped around in an oval. I know maybe this is Olde Richmond Beer People's fourth style of beer, but why do they have to force the 4 so prominently? This beer annoyed me on so many levels. 1 out of 5.
CORPORATE MASTER: Olde Richmond brand beers, according to random internet information, seems to be inter-connected to the stupid St. Georges Brewery bullshit in Hampton, Virginia. How is Hampton, Virginia, some sort of "olde" Richmond? Man, the actual Richmond, Virginia, is the first place they ever made a beer can, so fuck this fake Richmond bullshit, with their stupid numbered bottles and hefty price for a painted bottle of ass crack. Minus 3 out of 5.
OVERALL AMBIANCE: Terrible terrible terrible. 0 out of 5.
TOTAL RATING: 1 STAR!