I would assume being he is from Utah and been a politician from there forever, that Orrin Hatch is some sort of Mormon. My wife was raised a Mormon so she hates Mormonism. Doesn’t really matter anyways because all she’d do is have to take care of me in Heaven and I’m not Mormon, so I’m not sure if she would have to go Hell with me, regardless of her righteousness, or go to Heaven and be assigned to another man of better soul purity. Nonetheless, Orrin Hatch has been one of the Mans from Utah since he was sworn in January 3, 1977, as part of the first new Senatorial class after America’s bi-centennial celebration. Hatch’s back story, like many of these ultra-rich white guys, is one of a working class upbringing. He was the first in his family to go to college, and while in law school in Pittsburgh, he worked all sorts of menial labor jobs, at least it looks on his resume. I have had people who have “worked” construction with me many times, and their work and my work were very different things, yet it would look exactly the same if we both had wikipedia pages.
I personally have never been to Utah, and most of what I know about outside of the televisions and interwebs is this redneck dude I lived next door to in Richmond who had a beautifully long short and long haircut, the proudest peacock of an alpha male you’d ever meet, and he spent some time out there in Bryce Canyon as part of some juvenile delinquency rehab program of some sort. So to me, Utah is all about bong hits and watching Jerry Springer while a redneck girl with a supremely fat ass in the greatest of good ways bitches at everybody because all we do is sit around and get high and watch TV. Brain association. So until I ever ride a Greyhound out there, it will always be Danelle – the Aunt Sarah’s waitress with the cute bulldog face that probably weights 225 nowadays. If Orrin Hatch has such wonderful leadership qualities, I’d like to see him handle the furiousness of Danelle. But Republican Overlord Mormonator or not, I’m sure he would agree with me that back in 1994, Danelle had a fat ol’ ass that you just wanted to grab, but her redneck boyfriend would kick your ass. Maybe. He might not care if you were “bowl buddies”, which was a sacred bond to him, much like the bond Orrin Hatch develops with his compadres at Bohemian Grove cross-dressing getaways. Senator Hatch is fairly infamous amongst circles of the Washington elite for his notorious perversions, which historically is common amongst Mormons. In fact, his notoriety for crossing party lines to create legislative bonds with Democrats from New England (notably Sen. Leahy of Vermont and the former and now dead Sen. Kennedy of Massachusetts) is because of how he frequents high-priced homosexual rings in that part of the country, where it’s more tolerated, and where he’s less recognizeable.
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