(7s) Longest Serving U.S. Senators Intro

My man Tommy Jefferson said a long time ago in a galaxy right about here (actually five miles from where I sit, although I’m talking of his fancy mountaintop home, not our galaxy, because I’m actually in that too and it’d be strange if I wasn’t but only five miles outside of it), “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” And we as Americans are trained to hold bullshit back-story like that close to our heart by way of our brains and act like we have some amazing, ever-changing, free-flowing freedom machine. Yet in practice, we limit ourselves to two slices of the same upper crust white bread, both very adamant about how different they are from the dude that looks just like them behind the other podium on the TV talks. And we limit ourselves with our attitude that whoever is already there is okay, new is not good, so guys become career politicians, living for decades in Washington, D.C., trendy neighborhoods, lavishly, to the point that the home state they represent is more a property claim than an actual home. It’s pretty ridiculous.
Well, in the spirit of this ridiculousness, I figured I’d do a list of the seven guys in both chambers of Congress who have been sitting in office the longest, to get a flavor for just how unchanging we really are as a country, even though we act like we have a revolution every four years. Changing the brand name of the same old tired product is not a “revolution” by definition, though if you redefine (or rebrand) “revolution” to accommodate such non-change, then it allows people to better understand revolutionary new detergents and a revolution in the taste of Pepsi even though it’s the same diabeetus-inducing corn syrup that it’s been since the ‘60s.
I will start with the Senate, since it’s the more prestigious chamber, being only 100 mostly white guys than the 365 mostly white guys of the House of Representatives. The Senate is often times a springboard towards Presidential campaigning, and that used to mean you vacated your seat to do so, but starting with John Kerry’s campaign in ’04, as well as McCain in ’08, not to mention Lloyd Bentsen not dropping his seat when he was on the Presidential ticket as Vice-Homeboy, they don’t even do that anymore. Why give up the cushiony lifetime public appointment for a 50/50 chance at the best pension on Earth? Keep your second best pension on Earth growing and take a shot at the upgrade without losing your solid thing already. These fucking guys...
Anyways, tomorrow will start the list of the seven longest serving current U.S. Senators, and hopefully you dumbasses will stop electing all of them. But I know you won’t. Of the 100 Senators currently in office, I would bet at least 20 of them are still in office on the day I die. Hell, I talk too much shit in these write-ups, they might cancer me and all of them might still be in office.