What with all this vampire popularity, I’d hope something more would come from it than just flat-faced retarded looking dudes being considered sex symbols and pre-teens loving on books about having intimate relationships with the supernatural. (Best movie portrayed teenager intimate relationship with the supernatural was that chick in her bra and panties getting killed by the evil music green haze in Trick or Treat. I am far less threatened by green mists than I am by the living undead who move all speedy-wonky and have a relentless libido.)
The greatest vampire flick ever was Blacula, straight up. I know it gets lumped into the whole blaxploitation genre, which people will often look down upon as nothing more than stereotypes and nonsense. But Blacula takes the vampire Dracula bit, and flips it on some proud African 5% civilized man tip, creating a character who is too intelligent and too civilized to allow himself to fall victim to the supernatural disease that poisons his body. Ultimately, he sacrifices himself, because he would rather die a noble man than live (or unlive) as less than noble man. And I guess Blacula might be on DVD, because shit man, even The Emperor of the North Pole is on DVD now, but I haven’t come across it, without looking real hard, so goddammit, it’s on this list.
I am sure they at some point, someone, made lesser known blaxploitation supernatural flicks, like a black werewolf and black Frankenstein and so on. If they didn’t, then someone who knows Tracy Morgan should tell him about this idea for a Black Wolfman flick, and they give me a cheap hotel room for two weeks, unlimited alcohol, limited amphetamines, and probably some chubby porn, as well as three copies of Blacula, every movie starring Rudy Ray Moore or Fred Williamson made before 1981, both an instrumental and regular copy of The Geto Boys We Can’t Be Stopped CD, plenty of candles, a food stamp card with $150 on it, and a pair of Rottweiler puppies than answer to the names Corleone and Scarface, and I’ll have his script ready, and if he can get Will Ferrell to agree to play The Professor, then we won’t have to go straight to DVD.
2 comments:
I may be late to the party here, but Blacula is on DVD. Might even be in your local Wal-Mart for $5, double-billed with "Scream Blacula Scream."
I am very lazy, and also never ever ever go into a wal-mart usually unless it's for paper towels or composition notebooks. reallly just tree products. What I am saying is that's not easy enough for me, plus I needed a #7, although I thought of something else but also already forgot it.
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