Friday Love/Hate

I love music. I love words. I love my wife, and I love her nice round ass (not to objectify her, because it's far more than that that I get down with). I love "Thank Yuh Jah" by Vybz Kartel, and I love the fact my truck is stuck in the driveway for two weeks straight. I love talking to the Egyptian dude I work with about the World Cup and I love the fact there was strange European beers in a box for me at the post office yesterday. I love the laundromat and the fact I still have the high score on the Ms. Pac Man after three years even though I broke the joystick to make it stay so. I love the fact I didn't really do that but I mix lies with truth when I write and you read it and don't know what is real and what is not real and have to assume different parts of it in your own brain. I love the fact you think you know what I look like or how I am even though you don't know me or how I am. I love the fact that unlike most internet fuckfaces, I wouldn't let down your bullshit preconceptions. I love life and I love bad tattoos that come from moments loving life. I love dropping the kids off at my mom's house this weekend and getting 30 hours with my wife and me alone. I love really sweet diabeetus inducing coffee and I love when the dumpsters behind the Food Lions have boxes of pre-packaged cole slaw and Italian salad and romaine hearts and I don't even have to go digging for shit for my pigs. I love the fact I have pigs and chickens and they all respond to me unlike they do for other people. I love Jay Electronica lyrics and Creedence Clearwater Revival loops. I love soul food restaurants that don't serve barbecued tofu and I love chicken. I love my live chickens and how chill they are and catching them and walking around with them and I love eating chicken. It used to be fried chicken from country stores, but now it's roasted chicken from my kitchen oven that leans sideways left from the termite damage years ago that went away but never got replaced because let's be honest, it all happens again, over and over. I love it all.

I hate when I sleep late because sleep is the cousin of death which is a normal known thing I say to try and be clever, but honestly, I do better with lack of sleep wake up early than I do with sleep in. Even after being up till 3 in the morning drinking beer and pecking on a cheap ass computer keyboard, it's better to just start cold kicking it with the 6 o'clock electronic cock-a-doodle-doo and getting to it, splash cold water on the eyeball holders, put some processed mint into my mouth, pick out clothes that don't smell as much like yesterday as the rest of them, and get on out and let my day be a shine and not a drain. I also hate motherfuckers that don't maximize their minutes. How many do you get? Like jellybeans in the jar, good luck guessing bitch. I hope your mama don't grab you by the arm while you're still trying to count 'em.