This is the thing for the Sunday thing about the peach crate basket ball sankers of most note in the big collegiate competition tournament, Sunday afternoon style...
#1: Kalin Lucas (Michigan State guard; 149 previous points in the NCAA tournament, 25 in this one) - He got busted up in their first round game against New Mexico State Coyote Dogs; I hope he don't tear his Achilles Lauro.
#2: Raymar Morgan (Michigan State forward; 115 previous points, 11 in this one) - The smallest forward known at 6'4" yet he plays much bigger than that.
#3: Jon Scheyer (Duke guard; 89 previous points, 13 in this one) - There is nobody I hate more in college basketballs than Jon Scheyer. I hope someone slam dunks on him and the backboard breaks and the rim pierces his skull and people make comedic ironic motivational posters out of it on the internet.
#4: JaJuan Johnson (Purdue forward; 86 previous points, 23 in this one) - Robbie who? JaJuan lit up a Siena team that many talking sports head nerdbergs were picking as your can't miss first round upset.
#5: Greivis Vasquez (Maryland guard; 85 previous points, 16 in this one) - Common Raven logic would suggest I would not like the young brash Mr. Vasquez. But there is no logic to my brain. He's awesome. I hope he comes and plays the next four years at VCU under a mask as Mr. Caracas.
#6: Durrell Summers (Michigan State guard; 83 previous points, 14 in this one) - A championship game run last year gives them the experience to look good yet not win a title, much like UCLA did there a few years in a row.
#7: E'Twaun Moore (Purdue guard; 81 previous points, 12 in this one) - The ' is a contractual apostrophe that takes the place of "legant". Haha, of the four people who will see this, none of you will get that. I am so smart yet so retarded.
#8: Kyle Singler (Duke forward; 81 previous points, 22 in this one) - He is a close second on the hated scale to his little white homeboy Jonny Scheyerface.
#9: Trevon Hughes (Wisconsin guard; 79 previous points, 19 in this one) - Senior back court trying to carry the Badgers to beyond their potential.
#10: Chris Kramer (Purdue guard; 74 previous points, 10 points in this one) - With Robbie Hummel out, and since people from Indiana are racist and fucked up, Kramer is the new spiritual leader of the Boilermakers. Seems odd they'd have a college team named after alcoholic drinks.
#11: Matt Bouldin (Gonzaga guard; 72 previous points, 17 in this one) - Man, I am so sick of Gonzaga supposedly being awesome but then not being awesome. They need to turn a goddamned corner or something.
#12: Keaton Grant (Purdue guard; 71 previous points, 11 in this one) - Bastard son of Alex P. Getting an Econ degree to make pops proud, hopefully, finally.
#13: Donald Sloan (Texas A&M guard; 68 previous points, 10 in this one) - Always root for Aggies. Industrialized agriculture is a leading cause of our unhealthy overall nature in America, and creates the need for our fat asses to be guaranteed health insurance by our lazy incompetent government. So when you don't root for teams named the Aggies, you don't root for your own freedom.
#14: Chris Allen (Michigan State guard; 68 previous points, 1 in this one) - Didn't exactly light it up against the Coyote Runners, but he is there if you need him.
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