This is no thirtysomething Gen X hipster dumbass with weird prescription glasses knee-jerk loyalty reaction to the completely stupid Conan vs. Leno thing, because I don't care. Honestly, Conan should be thankful for the thing because him on The Tonight Show sucked. It lacked the same looseness and oddballery of the previous 12:30 one.
The fact of the matter is Jay Leno is a mean-spirited asshole, who has become ridiculously wealthy by being a mean-spirited asshole. And look at the dude. He's not that good looking. He doesn't really come across that smart, though he condescends well enough to people stupider than him to make himself seem smart. He's just a fucking asshole with a giant collection of stupid cars and that's supposed to make him all working class. "Oh, I'm gonna do my goddamned stupid fucking show for a bunch of unemployed retards and halfwits in some shithole godforsaken rust belt state that's rusting into parts already. And fat yet malnourished, self righteous yet close-minded cocksuckers eat it up. Jay Leno is comedy for the Wal-Mart Supercenter crowd. I hate that shit, and I hate him, and I'd love to smash him and them and the whole thing with empty beer bottles.
There was this dude who wrote the Poor Man's James Bond books whose name escapes me right now, but he used to have a website, and I used to read at it after the 9/11s, and he basically said the best way to fuck everybody up and make them all scared is to just coordinate like three Wal-Mart attacks all at once, because people would freak out, and it attacks at exactly what America really is. And while I keep myself in the line of thinking that I won't force my way on the rest of the world because that makes me the same type of judgemental know-it-all-better-than-you asshole like I condemn, I can see the sense in that Poor Man's James Bond's thinking. Not the sense in like, "yeah, do that shit," but the sense in yeah people would freak the fuck out.
If I get rich though, I'll get myself out of that line of thinking long enough to bust an empty La Fin Du Monde into Jay Leno's fat prick chinbone.
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