Dominion Ale

AFFORDABILITY: Dominion is a Virginia brewery and they make Virginia beers, although up in the vast cul-de-sacced wasteland of the northern Virginia clogged corridor that I usually try to avoid admitting exists, much less riding through. But you can find the Dominion 12-packs on special on the regular in my local area of the crooked globe, so we shall give them props on that front. 4 out of 5.
DESTROYABILITY: The wonderful thing about Dominion Ale that is just like pretty much every beer that's ever been made is the more you drink of it, the drunker you become. I love verbs that can make you the past tense of themselves suddenly like "drink/drunk" does. 4 out of 5.
LABEL AESTHETIC: The Dominion regular beers are all of quality labelhood and stylishness. To be honest, I can’t remember which one is which, and what might’ve been this one, but my hand has gripped itself around all of the non-seasonal ones enough to know it’s okay, it’ll be alright. My homeboy Dready Mike and me used to make the homebrews and on a number of times we drank the Dominion Ale while waiting for the wort to cool its ass down enough to toss the yeast. Homebrewers call that “pitching” the yeast, but in my short life’s experiences, I’ve found that most times people use the word “pitch” it makes them a pretentious asshole. “Pitching” yeast for making fancy pants home beer. The “pitch” for a soccer field. Shit man, even “pitching” horseshoes instead of throwing some shoes. It is no coincidence the fake devil of Bible lore carries a “pitch” fork. 3 out of 5.
CORPORATE MASTER: I had what I was gonna say but I think I’ve already said it before. Hard to remember when you write a bunch of nonsense in strange clusters all at once and then for never. Dominion gives money to retarded children to fight Al Qaeda demons in Hellspace, with guns made of happy organic rose petals that turn crusty old shelf mushrooms into rainbows of positivity. But then again, they only do it for a tax write-off. 4 out of 5.
OVERALL AMBIANCE: They are located in Ashburn, Virginia, which is the same spot as the Washington Redskins, and being they have not blown up Dan Snyder with a fertilizer bomb yet must mean they are straight and narrow type small brewing cats. I can't fault them for their success, but they've never killed (or at least poisoned) Dan Snyder. I don't mind them, but every time I drink them, I am like, "Why don't they kill Dan Snyder?" 2 out of 5.
TOTAL RATING: 3 & 2/5 STARS!