Friday Love/Hate

I hate when corn on the cob goes on sale at the store and they have those big piles of it, and some asshole is standing there, peeling back the top to see if the genetically modified corn is of proper standing, and shucking the shit right there into that big trash can that the produce guy rolls out because he knows the world is ruled by assholes, not loungers. Look motherfucker, I am of few beliefs, but I know that I want to cook my corn with the goddamned husk on it, not breached by your proper kernel appearance on one end testing standards, and most people with any goddamned sense know that the shit stays sweeter if you shuck it at the last second before throwing into boiling water or however you cook it. Usually the type of people doing this thing are of two varieties - either a 40- to 50-something white lady who still wears her hair in some sort of 2010 perm style, or a grumpfaced redneck business dude in a polo shirt with a company name on the breast. Fuckers, everywhere.

I love the flash of heat lightning along the broccoli stalk horizon, like a strobe show, while I sit on the side porch drinking a cheapest of the week Mexican ass beer with some lime stuffed into the thing. The fireflies are along the tall grasses in the field, barely competing with the sky, and the full moon is gone to hell for the moment. I love that strong slight breeze of electrical energy in the air, where you know it's about to get straight crazy, and the kids will wake up crying and the electricity might go out, and with the lightning flashes in the background, the trees look ominous, like they had really clear video making capabilities for even minor bands back when Death and Possessed first came out back in the day, except they lived in the country. You can feel those first hard winds blow where you're like, "Maybe I should go inside," because you are starting to feel the energy trigger your adrenaline. When I went inside, the hall door to the upstairs was open, which it's not supposed to be, so I shut it. And even though the wind wasn't that strong really, it was tricky, and the hall door opened again right in front of my eyes, which was disturbing as we had a ghost in this house before. An ill wind blowing, for real though. But it's good to get recharged like that. I've been needing that, immensely. Nature is a sweet ass bitch, because you abandon it for months, even years, but when you need it, no matter how played out and abused it gets, it's got something just right for your ass. That's part of the reason I don't give a fuck about oil spills and global warming. We either die or adjust, and we deserve which ever one happens, individually and collectively. And now it's hailing like a motherfucker out there. I'm gonna shut off the computer before nature gives this piece of shit machine the final blast that stolen music, internet porn, and a budget price genetics couldn't give it.