J.J. Krupert Top 13 Countdown - July '10 #11: "Sweet Virginia" by The Rolling Stones

I look forward to when we have time machines so that when people become old and pitiful and sucky, time machine themselves from the past can come forward and stab them. The Rolling Stones are a perfect example of this, because if Keith Richards had a time machine, old Keith Richards would come and steal shit from now Keith Richards. Or just as likely, now Keith Richards would go back to straighten out then Keith Richards, but would pretend that the same music would still be made, because it already existed, except awesome shit like the entirety of Exile On Main Street would be wiped from existence. Needless to say, conflict and lawsuits and all sorts of mayhem would arise from this situation.
The thing is, they have time machines, up in Quantico. I've actually seen an older unit, and the dude in charge of that research lab was showing me the agreement you have to sign to even be able to use it - no financial gains like gambling or stock purchases, no interacting with personal family or friends, minimal interaction with all humans for the most part. He told me it was mostly used for observational purposes at first, but after a few meetings together, he kind of loosened up on it. The Shah of Iran actually was very charismatic and Iran became a defiant world power, on par with most European countries, and with a manufacturing empire sort of like China, not quite as big, but similar, because they used cheap Afghani and Iraqi labor (they punked out Iraq in the original shit). But they went back in time and overthrew him, which has unsettled the Middle East of course, but it was better than what happened before, though they are afraid to tinker with it further. That whole butterfly effect shit. I really really wanted to ask the guy if we could go back and get me a whole bunch of old Easyriders magazines, and 1970s era Penthouses and Ouis, but these dudes are jarhead haircut military types, and don't have much of a sense of humor for crap like that. There's a square-faced chick that works there though that seems pretty hip, at least relative to that workplace, who I might try to angle a friendship with, although she doesn't seem like the type who would be down with smuggling me porn from the past, although she does have those twinkly eyes like she might be a freaky ass bitch.
STEAL "Sweet Virginia"
NEXT UP: A goddamned Grateful Dead song, because the battle for my soul between redneck and hippie is not a battle because they are a tag team, fighting off the forces of square and nerdy as managed by electronics who is wearing a frilly tuxedo from a Goodwill in the future!