So odd the things that become pimp-worthy in a vehicle. A wood wheel, as in steering wheel, although that would be pretty tight if somehow you could have actually wood wheels. Personally, I’d prefer a wood car. Shouldn’t be impossible to attach that to a steel frame; the choices we have for fastening things together nowadays is amazing. That would be my dream car, a tight ass sedan shaped like those old Caddies with the slanted tailgate, but covered in cherry and mahogany wood instead, like ten coats of clear on top to keep it clean, and heavy on the chrome in the front and back ends. Actually I guess that gold chrome style would look better next to the wood, with as dark a tint as you could get on the windows. But if you couldn’t get a super dark tint because of government overregulation of how you pimp your car, you’d have to start over, and go with a mirror tint, switch back to the regular chrome, and then put a dark stain on the wood to get it closer to but not at a blackish color. You’d probably want to switch from cherry to walnut in that case though. Wouldn’t be good in crashes, but shit man, I ain’t gonna crash anyways.
We also live in the age of genetic engineering and computer nonsense going on, so maybe I could just have me a horse genetically engineered to fade from black on top to white on the bottom like a spotlight was shining underneath him at all times. And then they could cyborg him too so he had speakers in his hind legs and a subwoofer pointed out from somewhere too, or maybe just emanating from his rib cage. He should have some side view mirrors on his head too, even though he’s a horse and I could just look over my shoulder, because I love that shit when your side view mirrors vibrate from the bass, although I guess your car works as a cabinet for the sound and that enhances the effect. Still though, side view mirrors coming off a horse head would be tight. And all his hair braided, but with no bows. Any time you see kids riding horses in parades, they braid the hair and almost always put a fucking bow in the bottom. Why can’t a horse just pimp a straight braided style like that’s how he wants to roll, with a simple ass rubber band at the bottom? Fuck a bow.
In all likelihood though, even when science catches up to my next level thinking, I’ll just be riding a donkey with like a Zune jammed into an old Ipod dock duct taped to the donkey’s forehead. And I’ll be pulling a cart full of produce I took from behind the grocery store, trying to sell it to the mutant mulatto people living along the edge of the corpse-stained road, because if science gives us stereo cyborg horses that you can choose the color of beforehand, then most likely we will armageddon ourselves too. This is why we as mankind can’t have nothing nice.
STEAL "Wood Wheel (screwed & chopped)"
NEXT UP: Some every day old school music that makes me feel good to my heart!
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