I do not have the heart of a gangsta. I'm far too sensitive about too much shit. One New Year's Day, we were finishing a keg off, and somehow a guy fresh out of prison, my old mullet neighbor, and a guy who did tattoos out of a van who had a guy who owed him $200, plus like two other guys, all rolled up to this $200 in debt dude's apartment to bum rush him, and his girlfriend ran out the bedroom window to call the cops, and I had to run and grab her and drag her back inside, and she was just in a tank top and panties, and it was fucking weird. She didn't really fight, which was good, and I was all like, "It's gonna be okay." Then prison guy knocked the $200 dude out in the kitchen, laid out on linoleum. We went back and got high as fuck, and I was tweaked out by it. One of those situations that if it had gone a different direction, could be a far worse story today. Life altering.
Weird thing was I lived with this hippie chick at the time, and I came home and went to sleep in our bed and acted like nothing was up. "Sorry I'm late, me and my boys you don't like busted into some dude's house and beat him up and shit," is kind of a dealbreaker for chicks who have VISUALIZE WHIRLED PEAS bumper stickers on their Subarus.
I am very thankful those days are way in the rear view mirror for me. I am also thankful that my wife, who does drive a Subaru, does think VISUALIZE WHIRLED PEAS is a clever bumper sticker. That's kind of a dealbreaker for me. I am also glad she has a good amount of wild assness to yang up her hippie yin.
STEAL "Diamond In The Back (screwed & chopped)"
NEXT UP: Another goddamn Prolo song!
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