We shall repeat the short and sweet question battle version, because it just makes sense...
AFRIKA BAMBAATAA vs. GHOSTFACE KILLAH
Who makes a point of dancing with fat chicks on stage at pretty much all his shows? Ghostface Killah.
Who extended the influence of creepy ass Kraftwerk on pop culture by 20 years? Bambaataa.
Who would I rather have teach a group of 10 to 13 year olds for an afternoon seminar on whatever the fuck they felt like teaching about? Ghostface Killah. He should take over Zulu Nation and change the name to Zag Zig Zag Nation.
Advantage: Ghostface Killah.
JIM "DANDY" MANGRUM vs. LEMMY KILMISTER
Is Jim Dandy awesome as fuck? Yes.
Is he Lemmy? No.
Advantage: Lemmy Kilmister.
FIDEL CASTRO vs. GARY SNYDER
Which one has shot guns a whole fucking bunch? Castro.
Poetry? Both, in all likelihood.
Had sex with the most brown-skinned women? I am going to assume Castro.
Favorite natural type thing? Dolphins for Castro, Sierra Madre Mountains for Snyder.
Advantage: Fidel Castro.
LEONARD KNIGHT vs. MIROSLAV TICHY
Possessed by inner godliness or inner bedevilment? God for Knight, devil for Tichy.
Favorite medium? House paint for Knight, homemade junk camera for Tichy.
Ultimate goal? Make you accept Jesus for Knight, fuck you leave me alone for Tichy.
Advantage: Miroslav Tichy.
DAVID ALLAN COE vs. SWAMP DOGG
Raw as fuck? Yes to Coe, kind of to Swamp Dogg.
Times I've seen them and had my mind blown? Like four mind-blowings by Coe, only one by Swamp Dogg.
If I filled up an 80 minute CD with my favorite songs by them, how much of those songs would be awesome as fuck without a doubt, even if I was hungover so badly when listening to it that a Dr. Pepper made with real sugar didn't make me feel better? 71 minutes on the David Allan Coe CD, 48 minutes on the Swamp Dogg CD.
Multiplied awesomeness from their best song ever? Times 72 for "Walkin' Bum" by David Allan Coe. Times 83 for "Sam Stone" by Swamp Dogg. Still not enough though.
Advantage: David Allan Coe.
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