Let us resume this nonsense with very little explanation, so as to work my way closer to finishing up the fall class of Learned Elders of Rojonekku.
CHAZ BOJORQUEZ vs. ROBERT CRUMB
I looked at a bunch of gang graffiti online the other day, yet did not masturbate to muscle worship videos.
Advantage: Chaz Bojorquez.
OXANA MALAYA vs. PHYLLIS LIGHT
My wife is taking another class under Phyllis Light at some point this fall, and she's an awesome old herbal lady, but there is something that warms my heart about a 20-something chick who loves to tend animals on a mental hospital farm because she is considered mentally retarded or undeveloped or handicapped or whatever because she was raised by wild dogs. I am very much on a kick lately about how science and religion are both religions of course, and they differ on so much. Yet for some reason science has wholeheartedly taken the Dominion over the Earth thing and still attempts to point out constantly how superior humans are, when really how do you judge superior? Superior by our standards of what makes something better? Wouldn't that be biased? I love Oxana Malaya and wish they'd let her just hang with the dogs and stop trying to force her into some super role of reformed beast child.
Advantage: Oxana Malaya.
ATSUSHI ONITA vs. MIKE TYSON
Tyson is a wonderful story, especially if you work in all the strange superstitions and processes of boxing culture. But Onita blew himself up in fake fighting matches, got elected to Japanese Congress, and helped the children of Afghanistan somehow. My daughter just joined Facebook and her first status update was "I am sad about Afghanistan."
Advantage: Atsushi Onita.
TED KACZYNSKI vs. VINCENTE PIERRE
Pierre is a local hero of militant anti-governmentality gone to jail, while Kaczynski is a living legend of such affairs. There are only two people I'd like to initiate a prison/not-in-prison letter-writing relationship with - Kaczynski and Charles Manson. Of course, we all use laptops nowadays so I'm not sure I even know how to write with my hand. My signature has become swirly squigs with a couple of humps. I don't even get the number of humps right anymore.
Advantage: Ted Kaczynski.
DIEGO MARADONA vs. FIDEL CASTRO
Diego Maradona is a soccer player who went to coach soccer. Fidel Castro is a baseball player who went on to overthrow a corrupt government. Now he is old and hangs out watching dolphins. Che Guevara's daughter is a marine veterinarian. I read it on the internet last week, so it has to be true.
Advantage: Fidel Castro.
No comments:
Post a Comment