I am going to run a marathon of donations at some point in the coming weeks, like a two day period with a chunk of new posts, one per hour, where you donate money to my paypal to support me riding a Greyhound bus across the deep south into Texas and then back up through the lower midwest, down through West Virginia, back home. Not really, I just need money because my bills are expensive and I don’t have enough discretionary income to get a tattoo of a ruler on my dick, which I really really REALLY want to get so that I can visually pretend my penis is larger than it is. The Brett Favre texted pics just drove that point home to me. At the same time, I’ve always wanted a back tattoo in seven layers that involves my entire life, a map, SS Va. but looking all fresh-dipped as fuck in a tweaked out style, and I actually wrote a long ass thing about that but I mailed it off to the Oxford American. You know them bitches ain’t gonna print it, but if I give up and post it here, then they’ll use their jewbot internet tracking softwares to see if it’s been printed before and they’ll find it here and rather than go, “Oh shit, this muthafucka be writing all types of stupid shit,” they’ll think “We can’t use this, it’s been previously published in a public forum,” like Waldo from that Van Halen “Hot For Teachers” video all growed up. So pretend I didn’t mention it, and hopefully they will publish it and pay me probably like $25 if I’m lucky and I will supposed to be happy about that. Man, fuck writing. I should just spray paint haiku on people’s cars instead.
STEAL "Dixie On My Mind"
NEXT UP: Stupid ass hipsterism, but bright and sunny!
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