It has been an interesting week of controlled destruction in my life. I started the week out on the side of a mountain in southwest Virginia, shooting up a bunch of shit with assorted firearms, including shooting an AR-15 for only the second time in my life. I was old enough to appreciate it this time. When you are a young buck just shooting a machine gun into an abandoned schoolbus in the middle of nowhere West Virginia, it’s hard to appreciate it. But once you have kids and mortgages and a bunch of stupid gay shit you have to do responsibly all the goddamned stupid time, you get a greater appreciation for shooting a gun whose bullets go through an inch of solid steel. And I was still a pretty damn good shit, might I say. Also, blowing up 2-liter bottles with a .44 Magnum can never not be fun, unless say you miss on your first five shots of the six.
And then my week wound down with a trip to a research lab where they crash cadavers and I got a tour of the autopsy room and then this other big room where they are going to build a moving roadway where they will drop brand new cars onto the roadway sideways with cadavers or dummies strapped in the car to study rollovers. Apparently, to maintain scientific integrity, you have to keep all the windows in and everything, so it’s going to be a giant fucking mess. I am already on the list to scope that nonsense out.
So that has been my life this week, which is nice. I need shit like that to feed me. The majority of 2010 has been a goddamned drain on my soul. I have gotten stuck in ruts of routines that leave my soul pouting inside my stomach half of every day sometimes. It doesn’t help election day is coming up, which always reminds you how fucking stupid everything is. By the way, do not tell me the importance of voting. I did not grow up like you where that shit matters, where I believe in the adult Santa Claus of the sanctity of casting your vote. Fuck your vote.
Also there is an interesting side of irony to all this since the gun shooters of the beginning of my week don’t trust the government and the car crashing cadaver smashers of the latter half of my week are funded by the government. What a ridiculous mess this place we call America is. Why don’t we all get drunk instead?
STEAL “In The Pits”
NEXT UP: The man affectionately known as Tricephus!
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