Starting to feel my natural swagger again, had it all buried underneath the poisons that had become my day-to-day. Quit drinking a few weeks ago, not permanently, but I figured a good philosophy from now on is quit the poisons, write a book, then drink during an off-period, repeat as necessary. This way I figure I can have 2 or 3 National Write a Novel Months every year. Also quit sodas, shit food for lunch, etc. Gotta say, from the research papers I’ve seen in the works being I am inside the Belly of the Great Beast right now, the corn syrups seem more destructive to our innards than the alcohol. Still though, I could feel the haze cobra clutching my brain in the mornings, and I wanna be free, you dig?
But all this occurred last month, realizing I was wandering the same tired dead end circles I’d been wandering for ten years. It is odd how such a paradigm shift will affect your immediate surroundings, but I have felt the ripple of “what the fuck”ness from those I am involved with on the regular. That’s what happens. I have to be honest though, fuck the world. I gotta do me, and me is whatever it happens to be, so long as nothing roadblocks my ultimate goals, and I feel like I was spinning my wheels in muddy ruts there for a while. Shit, I ain’t even gotten good traction to escape that yet, but I can see I’m getting it all in place.
So the music on this October J.J. Krupert was the first list to come off the new Itunes set-up on my new (to me) home computer, so it was a rebirth so to speak, which is interesting considering all of that hooha I just talked up above. Seems that being reborn is all around. And I want to make one thing absolutely goddamned clear – there is no false piety in this talk I talk. I do not give a fuck what anyone else does, nor do I think you should do what I do or not do what I do. I encourage you to do drugs, have sex, wander wild circles, break laws, do things of which you can never tell anyone, and survive. You will be the better person for it in the long run. I am very sick of two types of people that unfortunately have populated my world more than any others lately – the falsely pious who feel they know what is right for the world and best for everyone else and if you disagree than it is sad the ignorance you have to not see the obvious truth they see; or the overwhelmingly ironic where nothing can be serious or sacred and it is all just things you lololol about or pretend you like in the off-chance someone seriously thinks that’s stupid you are not married to it. That’s it.
Fuck all that. I am a soldier of righteousness, yet my righteousness cannot be held in place since it changes daily. What I deem good today may be evil tomorrow, and that is fine. That is natural. I am also, I am proud to say, just as much of a degenerate sober as I was as a drunkard. I think too often the excuse of losing control of one’s self due to other substances is used, when really that’s just the vehicle we choose to carry our naturally chaotic mind. I am natural chaos, with an underlying chill that sees the world as one, yet recognizes the perversions of our alleged progresses. Perversions and degeneracy are two entirely different things. Perversions are steps in an unnatural direction, while degeneracy just tears shit back down to its more feral state. I am a proud degenerate, without a perverted thought in my mind. Motherfucker.
So these are the first batch of songs from a new computer set-up, rebirth of play counts, rebirth of subtracting skip counts, rebirth of me as a hollow-point bullet of my old standard shell self. And as usual, all of this could change before you read this. I refuse to be shackled to a single word I’ve ever written.
FIRST UP: Fraggle rock!
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