J.J. Krupert Top 13 Countdown – November ’10 Intro

I am barely starting last month in this month, meaning there’s still a slim prospect of me actually starting the December list in actual calendar December, although it seems that a lot of my personal blog parameters are being met on a bare minimum schedule, much like how I maintain my American credit. This is on my head because it is Christmas season and we are maxed the fuck out on all ends to give useless crap to those we love not to mention give shit to people we don’t really feel like giving shit to but feel obliged so we do. There is nothing worse than attempting to financially keep up with someone who is not only on a different economic scale than you, but is probably on a different socio-economic ladder completely. Fuck, these people I speak of, they’ve probably transcended ladders and are on some sort of socio-economic elevator, and I’m still standing around the very bottom part of a nice but battered aluminum middle class. These people, they blew us off last year after we did not gift back to them the way they gifted us, so broke off contact for like 9 months. But then the lady got the facebooks and creeped back into our lives, and sent presents for the kids with the prices still all over the shit, so that I can know they can flaunt about blowing like $200 on our kids that they’ve only seen three times.
Odd thing is, last year when our gift insult occurred, we literally had only about $200 to spend on everything of Christmas – our kids, each other, the world at large, and much to my not-down-with-itness, my wife spent like $24 on these people’s kids, who are family of a distant sort, literally and emotionally. And it was probably something they threw away before the kids even got to play with the stuff. So I’m supposed to feel bad.
My ol’ lady took the kids to a homeless shelter yesterday, where they took some fuzzy socks and scarves and a bunch of batches of homemade cookies. I do not say this to make myself feel better or flaunt our charity like the aforementioned assholes flaunt their wealth. Because I will readily admit that we don’t do shit compared to what we should be doing. We are stuck in our little microcosms like everyone else. But we are aware, and try to be thankful each day for something that happened. Sure, I feel completely lost in my new job, but at least I am not completely fucked like my last job. Sure, we have less than $35 in combined available credit/bank account pretend money as I sit here, but at least all our bills have the extreme past dues covered, and plus I get paid again tomorrow. So really, in the grand scheme of things, shit is good.
I talked to a dude the other day, a co-conspirator of sorts, though what we do together creatively is still in the incubation stages, and we both had had those struggles of just wanting to swallow a hollow point and throw in the towel. Those thoughts pop up a lot this time of year for a lot of people. It’s a strange fucking world to navigate that’s been cultivated here in America. Really strange. Somehow we’ve developed a sense of collective entitlement, everyone feels like they have it worse off than everybody else, and yet we all are somehow getting quietly finger fucked out of whatever actual wealth we are able to accumulate by nefarious industries built on economic principles of smoke and mirrors. Still though, if you are alive, the goddamn sun has come up, and it is shining on some things you probably have not noticed. There is more out there than what is inside, and often times you can’t trust what’s inside of you anyways because it’s emotionally agitated by electronic stimuli and an overload of psychologically-based marketing and just a general dissatisfaction with what the fuck you’ve found yourself in. I kinda realize that even though this blog doesn’t have the traffic it once had, or nowhere near an old website or two I’ve done, it is a place for that type of person, which is my type of person. I am good with that. I just want you to know that when you feel those thoughts, don’t fuck yourself up because ultimately it’s not yourself that you hate – it’s the world around you that’s got things going askew.
If you are not feeling those thoughts, and are like, “What the fuck is Raven talking about? Goddamn, say something funny, motherfucker,” my bad. Times be dark as fuck bros and sisses, so sometimes you’ve got to hit these tangents for clarification, for yourself as much as anybody else. Now let’s get onto some music.
FIRST UP: Okie rock!