Internet don’t lie. So understand I did some researching and serious legwork to know what I’m about to explain to you to be the earth core truth, for real as a lima bean sprout. But when Disney sold Witch Mountain to developers (it was an actual mountain where space people had semi-settled) about the same time they started thinking of doing a remake with The Rock, actual Witch Mountain alumni sprung onto a nearby mountain called by locals as Black Mountain, where Tony’s mulatto son (half-alien, half-human) and Tia’s only daughter (half-alien, half-human, born from a Shiflett, with only one “f” meaning one of the good ones, not evil double “f” mountain Shiffletts) often played together, developing a musical inclination by sharing Dad’s/Uncle Tony’s harmonica, and eventually forming a full-fledged band with some friends of their’s from high school. Witch Mountain proper is in the Blue Ridge Mountains, near Winchester, Virginia, but everybody relocated to western Canada after the Disney development, knowing that area of the world was more tolerable of telekinetic extraterrestrials, not overflowing with the Lucas Deranians and Aristotle Bolts of the world. The friends from high school mostly had painkiller pill problems, as do most free-spirited types in the eastern mountainous regions of America, so Tony and Tia and family brought these kids out to western Canada to live amongst their own, clean up from substances, and make music with their own children. Thus was born the band Black Mountain, which is really just modern versions of traditional space folk music. Supposedly, it only speaks to those amongst us with alien blood in our family tree, usually the same types who are more apt to experience extra-sensory perception. Oddly enough, autism is a man-manufactured degenerative disease that was originally created in a CDC lab in Lyme, Connecticut, to weaken the powers of this alien blood as it spread throughout the eastern half of America through half-breeds like what make up two parts of Black Mountain the band, and most of Black Mountain the mountain. Like most evil scientist creations like that, it somehow infected the general population, and now those same evil scientists get millions and millions of dollars to sit around and pretend they are researching a cure.
STEAL “The Space of Your Mind”
NEXT UP: One of rock music’s two great flute bands!
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