In the month of February, I turned 38. One of the initial mathematical plannings of the Lessons of Rojonekku (which will be available later this year) was the double spiral of life. I have broken the calendar into 10 parts, rather than 12, so that after 36 years of living, times 10 parts to each year, I had lived 360 degrees, or experienced an entire circle of life. Except it's more of a spiral than a perfect circle, because nothing naturally is closed in upon itself. And starting with my 37th year, this was to be my second 360 degrees, second spiral through life, probably landing roughly around 72 years total if all goes as I've metaphysically calculated. The thinking behind this is the first 36 years - the first spiral - you are soaking in life, absorbing everything your various environments throw at you. It is you growing your soul. None of us have any serious amount of wisdom in those first 36 years. But once you hit that second spiral, it is time to start spinning it all back out there. You are now shooting your soul's philosophies back out at your environment, letting your influence upon the world be done, as it can. Some people never really get anywhere with themselves, and their aura makes very little ripple on the outward spiral. Other folks shoot that spiral out and even if it makes little noise at first, it has aftershocks and reverberations and can ripple for years, decades, even centuries. I've always felt like I was to ripple for years. I don't know about the centuries, and won't be around to see it, but I know I've absorbed some serious strong powers in my first 36, a vast wealth of things that makes me very much unlike anyone else, except somehow at the same time exactly like everybody. Not sure how much that makes sense, but somehow at the same time I am completely confident that I am an original voice unlike most anything else you can find in books, internets, print, anywhere, and yet at the same time I'm very common and can make sense to and of anybody. I think it's a personal skill I learned in that first 36, to get along well with all, in as special a way as you can, because you never know who you're gonna end up backed up against a wall with in life, and when it's gonna happen.
What I'm trying to say is that the entire month of February has been a healing process for me, laid up in the bed most of the time, with an open wound in my abdomen, infected scientifically with a very specific bacteria which contaminated me during a surgical procedure, but also infected spiritually with things that go back up my family tree for more generations than I honestly fucking even know. And that healing process has been going on since I slipped on ice, fell off a five foot porch in January, and completely twisted my neck and back up into the wrong way. And honestly, it probably all goes back to the end of October when I quit drinking after an almost-all-nighter where I was wandering the same roads I had wandered a ton of times in that first 36, not even able to absorb anything new because I'd already seen that, been there, done that. It was a realization that if I was gonna be true to myself, if I was gonna be able to shoot that second spiral out effectively, I was gonna have to stop pretending to still be in the first 36 and soaking in the same old shit that I'd already sopped up pretty heavily.
Anyways, the point of all this is February was my birthday month. It was also a month that I had three hospital stays. In my entire life I've only had four hospital stays, so it's been an out-of-whack month. I am not sure if I'll physically go back to work within this page of the calendar or not, though I hope to. I really want to, but the fact of the matter is I still have a 2-inch deep wound oozing pus on my belly, ironically just under the right end of a tattoo that says LOUNGIN'. It's hard to really say that means anything special to the music I've been playing more heavily in this time period, because I can't really say that about any month with this J.J. Krupert experiment. Phases come and go and will peak but still carry weight within the parameters of how I do this for a few months after they've maxed out. Other things storm into my heart, but fade fast and never even make the list. But I know this has been some very introspective time, which has been tough, but is also good. There are some things in the works, possibly very big things, that could allow my second 36 to start spiraling out in the next 12-pack of calendar pages. I think it's important that I've been dwelling upon this in my brain, sitting in the back yard staring out at a world with headphones on, within the lunar confines of the month I was originally born into. It feels like this all makes sense. And actually, though I've struggled, I think my attitude through all this health bullshit has been pretty good. It feels like it was a necessary process, a cleansing on more levels than the scientific.
So yeah, February... more music, more ramblings. It is what I do. Give me comments, curses, donations, and death threats. Share it with your friends. I mean, it's gonna be here either way, but I've absorbed a good buffet of this and that in the first 36, and I would bet you probably have to. It's nice to toss it back out there and feel how we all ripple together. Most internet motherfuckers want you to recognize their greatness, or drive up their e-traffic. While I wouldn't mind that, because it would probably help those I will have to eventually get in bed with appreciate my wider appeal a little easier as I start rippling out this second spiral, I am very appreciative of those that I know are here regularly, and have been, some for years. We are in this together, and however successful or uneventful the coming years are for me, and whether my second spiral ripples out or fizzles into an embarrassing nothing, I am a loyal man, probably to a fault. We will always be in this together.
FIRST UP: Some old west coast feel-good gangsta shit!
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