J.J. Krupert Top 13 Countdown – January ’11 #4: “Forget You” by Cee-lo Green

Ceelo Green caused an internet sensation with that "Fuck You" video last year, which carried him all the way into a San Diego Chicken on crack costume on the Grammys last week. And God Bless that fucked up little black midget dude, because I love him. Have always loved him. I thought his first solo album was a mightily slept on classic blend of warped hip hop/soul. (By the way, I refuse to hyphenate hip hop as is the accepted English spelling. Who the fuck decides that type of shit? What makes it a hyphenated word? Was Kool Herc or Afrika Bambaataa consulted in this declaration of proper English? Definitely not I would bet.) And when "Crazy" blew up in your grandma's Buick AM radio a few years back, and everyone was like "greatest one hit wonder" about Gnarls Barkley, I felt some sadness to my heart, because I knew the solo Ceelo, and I knew how awesome "Soul Food" was, or "Cell Therapy" of course, though Khujo may have stole that show. So when he threw out "Fuck You", I wasn't shocked at all. Ceelo got in bed with the insiders of the record industry, who told him if you put string arrangements behind things, it spoke to ancient man and make it naturally more poppy and loveable. The insiders helped him groom indistinguishable pop groups like Pussycat Dolls and make himself some more money from behind the curtain. My biggest problem was that "Fuck You" was so goddamned catchy, so easily singable, so needed to be played like 19 times a day for a few weeks in a row, and then eased back to a few times a week probably, that how was I gonna get around doing this around my offspring without them learning bad habits. My wife had already exposed them to Lily Allen's "Fuck You" song pretty consistently, but navigated that territory by telling them it was a bad word, and they had to sing it as "thank you... thank you very very much." I was not entirely comfortable with this arrangement, but usually the ol' lady is the more sensible of the two of us, so I went along with it. But I knew I couldn't get by with this Ceelo "Fuck You" in wilded out street mode without my 3-year-old rolling by the dog while dressed in ballet clothes, yelling in broken toddler talk "FUCK YOU MINGO" even though we gave away the dog named Ringo and only have Artemis still. We don't need that going on.
So to the interwebz I went, and snagged the radio version, clean as a dilly bean, so we can pump it the fuck up in the house, and it is what it is. My kids are gonna learn the dirt of the world easily enough. Hell, the world is only too happy to shovel its shit all over your children, as quickly as possible, and then blame you for not putting them in a bubble. My kids know them words, because we've said them at times. But I don't want it put into catchy jingles. What's next, heroin jingles?
Sadly, I heard Pink made an allegedly awesome pop song called "Fuck" or something after this, and I thought to myself how sad that was, regardless of how awesome the song might be. The shock value was dulled, and it just seemed pathetic. We really move too fast nowadays for our own good. I suggest everybody take a big swig of cough syrup, ease off the gas pedal about 15 mph, and point out five things they see on the side of the road that are interesting.
Also, if anybody has a solid mash-up of Ceelo's "Fuck You" and Lily Allen's "Fuck You", hook a brother up.
STEAL “Forget You”
NEXT UP: My other favorite jazz song ever!