S14: Best College Basketball Teams in Virginia

I just got my Fan Frenzy tickets for me and my oldest to go to the semifinals and finals of the Colonial Athletic Association tournament in Richmond the first week of March, and there's conference rivalries galore going on inside the TV screens, and it's getting that first air of warmth outside, so I'm getting that basketball jones again. I have never been able to get into the NBA - too much like the WWF for my tastes, so it has always been a college basketball or nothing scenario for me. I love the rivalries, and the tournaments, and the immensity of it all, through all divisions.
Outside of the Ralph Sampson years at UVA, and Virginia Union's multiple national championships at the Division II level, my home state doesn't have the strongest pedigree of college basketball. But when has something like that ever stopped me before from wasting time with mathematical nerderies that most likely only interest me? Not often.
So being the Division III conference tournaments are cranking up this week, and the upper divisions will be winding down, I'd figured I'd do a weekly (on Monday mornings) rankings of the top 14 teams inside the confines of the state of Virginia, as determined by winning percentage, from now until there is no team left playing basketball (most likely the last week of March, if we are lucky). There are only 37 college basketball teams in the state, so the pickings are slim, but believe it or not, at the lower levels, we have some solid national championship contenders in the state.
So here is your list, for the next-to-last week of February, along with running and gunning commentary...
#1: VIRGINIA WESLEYAN BLUE MARLINS (21-3) - This team is the last actual national champion to come from the state, having won the Division III title in 2006, and been runner-up the following year. This year is no different, as the Old Dominion Athletic Conference is one of the most top-heavy basketball conferences in Division III basketball, believe it or not. Virginia Wesleyan is at the top of the conference standings going into the conference tournament this week, and currently is ranked #1 in the South regional of the NCAAs. Division III is a little odd in that there are only 61 teams in their tournament, so perhaps if Va. Wesleyan can make a run through the ODAC tourney, they can snag one of the three byes into the round of 32. A benefit to being an ODAC member too is that the conference tourney wraps up at the Salem Civic Center, which is also where the national championship (and semifinals) for Division III is played. Being they are #1 in the conference, their next game is the first one on this coming Friday afternoon, in Salem. I do not know what type of Christian type a "Wesleyan" is, but they must be good at backdoor passes.
#2: RANDOLPH-MACON YELLOW JACKETS (21-4) - Macon finished 2nd in the ODAC, and is ranked 2nd in the South regional. There are 41 automatic berths in Division III, plus one more that goes out to the best independent team, so there's only 19 at-large extra berths, so it is imperative that Macon show well in the ODAC tourney to get into the mix. Being in the South regional bodes well for them though.
#3: EASTERN MENNONITE ROYALS (21-4) - And then you have the 3rd team in the ODAC standings, ranked 8th in the NCAA South regional, meaning they are going to have make a run through the ODAC tournament to get themselves into the Division III tournament. If they and Macon win on Friday, they'll play each other on Saturday, and a win there would give the Royals a shot I guess. Eastern Mennonite University is somewhere in Harrisonburg, and all that makes me think of is going to the demolition derby at the Rockingham County Fairgrounds up there and all the sweet little Mennonite teenage girls watching the smashings on. Also, I heard from a dude that you can get really cheap crocks from some Mennonite supply store somewhere up there as well. I would probably be a Mennonite if you didn't have to believe in a stupid God or anything.
#4: GEORGE MASON PATRIOTS (23-5) - George Mason has been making national news as a potential mid-major team to crack the Top 25, and a definite solid candidate for an at-large berth into the NCAA tournament even if they don't win the CAA tourney. They beat Northern Iowa in the stupid bracket busters game this past weekend, in northern Iowa, so that only helped their case. I am amped for the CAA tournament.
#5: FERRUM PANTHERS (21-5) - Ferrum is in something called the USA South Conference, whose men's tournament is played at higher seeded teams throughout the week. North Carolina Wesleyan finished first in the USA South, Ferrum 2nd, though in the Division III South regional rankings, Ferrum is ranked 3rd (Virginia running that shit obviously), while N.C. Wesleyan is all the way down to 7th. An odd happenstance in the USA South standings means that the four Virginia-based teams are all on one side of the bracket, while the three North Carolina-based teams were on the other side, meaning we won't have a cross-state match-up until the championship. Ferrum starts this run by hosting Averett on Tuesday night. Averett is from Danville. Averett is 3-22. Averett is the sucks.
#6: OLD DOMINION MONARCHS (21-6) - ODU is currently sitting in 2nd in the CAA, and though last year's Nordic wonder Gerald Lee is gone, they still have some domineering ass dudes on their team, mostly Kent Bazemore who can be a monster. I really dig the atmosphere of the CAA tourney at the Richmond Coliseum, especially when the various in-state schools get to the final rounds. It gets very second-rate raucous up in that joint, and I've used that to teach my homeschooled child about how fun college life is, as that's one small part of the experience. I also tell her that ODU is for miscreants, because it is.
#7: RICHMOND SPIDERS (20-7) - The Spiders are the only Division I team in-state not paired up in a conference with another state team. Richmond runs with the Atlantic 10, mostly northern teams, which fits their student body well. Richmond has been one of their upper-middle class teams the past few years, and actually made the NCAA tournament last year, only to get crushed by that giant Egyptian dude and Saint Mary's (I think was the team). This year, unless they somehow win the Atlantic 10 tournament, I don't think they'll be going back to the Big Dance. But the NIT probably has their number already.
#8: HAMPTON PIRATES (19-7) - Hampton is in the Mid-Eastern Athletic Conference, one of those historically black conferences that used to be in the awesome D II CIAA but are now small fish in the big dance pond, and usually get shuttled off to the opening round play-in game. Hampton is currently third in the MEAC standings. They just lost a double OT game this past weekend against the top team in the conference - Bethune-Cookman, and really only the tournament winner is going to the Big Dance. So all they can do is ride out these last two weeks of games, and hope to win the shootout that is the MEAC tourney in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
#9: VCU RAMS (21-8) - This is the team I pull for, my alma mater, when we go to the CAA tourney. They have been struggling lately, and don't have Eric Maynor shooting on bitches (like two years ago) or Larry Sanders dunking on bitches (like last year), so we'll see if they can pull it together. I am hopeful they at least make it to the CAA semifinals, because it's gonna suck if I'm riding up there to see the games and they ain't even in it no more.
#10: SOUTHERN VIRGINIA KNIGHTS (19-8) - Southern Virginia is part of something called the United States Collegiate Athletic Association, which I guess is schools that used to be in the NAIA (an NCAA-alternative that came about back in the day when black people weren't allowed). It's hard to tell from the USCAA website if shit is up to date or not, but apparently the top 8 ranked Division I teams go into some sort of tournament somewhere. Southern Virginia was ranked 2nd in that poll, so I'm assuming they'll still be playing some b-ball. They are a good gauge of how these things transcend between conferences, They have played D-I teams and lost (Liberty, VMI, Longwood) and D-III teams and done well (winning some, losing some). They wrap up with a pair of home games this week against Washington Adventist tonight, and Tennessee Temple on Thursday, before whatever it is that the USCAA Division I tournament ends up being announces itself.
#11: JAMES MADISON DUKES (20-9) - The Dukes are 5th in the CAA, and I'm really hoping they somehow make it to the semifinals over Hofstra, so it can be an all-Virginia final four there at the Richmond Coliseum. Also, JMU has a guy named Humpty on their team, which is awesome as fuck.
#12: VIRGINIA TECH HOKIES (17-8) - Finally, an actual ACC team showing up. Too bad that Tech has once again cursed itself with mediocre play to be one of those last teams to not get into the tournament. They do this every year, and judging from their RPI and overall record and ACC record, they've done it again. Losing at UVA didn't help this past weekend. Why the fuck can't we have a good major program basketball team in this state?
#13: CHRISTOPHER NEWPORT CAPTAINS (17-8) - Christopher Newport is also in the USA South Division III conference, but not as highly touted as either N.C. Wesleyan or Ferrum, so basically starting with their home game Tuesday night against Shenandoah, their next loss will be their last one of the year. That's what makes college basketball so dramatic in the springtime.
#14: LIBERTY FLAMES (19-10) - Liberty is just down the road from me in Lynchburg, Virginia, and Jerry Falwell's school, so it's kind of a joke to most people. I mean, you don't go bragging you went to Liberty or anything. They play in the Big South Conference, a Division I league, that will always get only their tournament champion into the Big Dance, who will most likely either be shipped off to a play-in game or fed to a #1 seed in the first televised rounds. Liberty is the only real contender to knock off Coastal Carolina this year, so they a shot at losing to Ohio State in the middle of March I guess. One more week of regular season games, and then it's tournament time for the Flames.