The Doogie Howser - 03/26/11

(daily top 10/intentions for the next day or tonight, but not necessarily "daily" nor the top nor only 10)
#1: A good Friday night, felt tight tonight, wanting to get loose as fuck, slam like 19 beers and smoke three joints, etc. etc. but five months sober so been pounding spring waters instead, trying to keep it clean. Now I see why them dudes drink non-alcoholic beers, which always seemed stupid to me. I could go for one right now, and a couple non-amphetamine lines of uncrank. #2: I wrote one time a while back about how there was no such thing as a sober revolution, which is weird because as great as drunken vikings and all seem, there's also a good chance that outlaw types are pre-programmed to get involved in substance abuse issues so as to dullard their anti-government mojo, and keep things keeping in order. #3: You know who my dude is? When they show the riot authorities shoot a tear gas canister into the edge of the assembled crowd, and the one dude who runs up, grabs the canister and does the super extended arm fling of the thing back from what which it came. That's my dude. #4: You know why baseball is stupid? Because people should be throwing tear gas canisters back at the bullshit authorities in the streets right now. Instead at a young age across America, kids are brainwashed into creating cellular memories for their growing bodies that such a physical motion is to throw a baseball, thus squashing their revolutionary spirit before it can even really ferment in their potent adolescent years. That's why it's called The American Pasttime, because it stifles change. #5: I saw the absolute most craziest thing today while in town - a Prius with an Obama bumper sticker. Can you believe that shit? #6: My kids got to see Obama speak in Charlottesville last year during the election hype cycle, and we stood around for 37 hours to see the dude talk about nothing, and this is supposed to be a great moment, to be in the physical presence of our beloved leader. They talked this week about going to the White House, and I told the oldest that she had been to the White House before, and there were men with machine guns on the lawn, and we had to leave before they started fucking people up. All of this was true. Fuck going to the White House. If I go to the White House to visit, those assholes might try to come to my house to hang out, and I ain't letting no goddamn piece of shit President - black or white, D-brand or R-brand, living or dead - hang out in my back yard. #7: We really need to get a load of sand dropped off for the kids to play in. Also so I can have a good plentiful source of sand to embezzle 5-gallon buckets from now and then to restock the horseshoe pits. I can feel my balance properly restored with my useless appendix organ removed. #8: One good thing I'll say for the first George Bush President is he put horseshoe pits in the White House. I might've visited that dude. Then again I wouldn't have, because there's nothing worse than seeing horseshoe pits and hearing some ZZ Top playing and thinking, "Hey, these are good people," and then you're hanging out with them and they are boring and sterilized whiteness personified and their idea of getting wild is wearing sandals. And even their sandals that they only wear when they feel wild like once a year are a $140 pair of Birkenstocks. Fucking rich people. #9: When I started this list, I was gonna say something derogatory about me not drinking beer anymore, like how I had some "faggot" thinking going on, except I can't say that because I'm not homophobic, and have gay friends, and really ain't trying to come across like that through just words. So then I thought it was some "pussy" thinking, but that's the same deal. My goddess ol' lady has showed me that the vagina is powerful, and I've got three daughters and want them empowered in such a manner as well. So basically I don't know how to say I'm on some stupid shit, not drinking on a Friday night, wanting to get crazy and punch holes in the night sky. And those words aren't so much a sign of prejudice on my part in using them as they are just very hollow-point projectile words. What words can you use in that situation? And why the fuck do I think so much? I'm not sure if this is an improvement or not, this sober outlaw rural lifestyle I'm trying to cultivate in an irradiated earth. #10: Such questioning of myself is also pre-programmed into us as well. We are taught to hate ourselves, to destroy ourselves, to fuck ourselves up. When you train people to commit eugenics on themselves, to trap themselves, it keeps your own hands clean. I am domesticated more than anything, regardless of momentary substance abuse stances. Motherfuckers need to get feral, not drunk. Or if I'm gonna get drunk, it's need to be off some lacto-fermented kimchi, get my gut flora going again so my intuition is right again after their antibiotic war on my innards these past two months. Feral Ferment - that's gonna be Rojonekku Spring 2011 Slogan of Intention. Feral Ferment. Cultivate your wild, not pretend "I'm SOOO drunk" wild but for-real no hangover makes the gentrified world uncomfortable wild, fermented with all that beneficial gut intuition, feeling your actual soul inside your body and from underneath the ground and not the buzz and hum from the electronic heavens and all the insidious little soldiers of electro-magnetic weaponry you've invited into your home. Feral Ferment.