J.J. Krupert Top 13 Countdown - June '11 #2: "How Long" by Charles Bradley

Charles Bradley is straight up baby-making music, and if you are broke and can't afford things like satellite TV or internet that can be the internet at a modern pace, then what is there to do but lay around on lambskins at night and make babies? When you are broke, and from the underclass of America, but upwardly mobile with your spirit and soul, you should be making babies as much as possible, every twelve months at the worst, preferably with a couple ol' ladies. Homebirthing is always the way to go, and how we've had all three of our chilluns, making each experience an amazing memory even beyond a new human popping all up in our faces after standard belly incubation periods. The great thing I discovered about homebirths, after our second kid, is you can be really adamant about not taking your kid into the health department when they are born and you need to get shit set up to prove you have a kid born. I used the "You are a health department, administering flu shots to the sickly... I am not bringing my newborn into this place," and brought a signed letter from the midwife to prove that I had actually had a kid. That's usually enough for the low level government drones who work in a rural county health department. So I've done this six times since then, when we've only had one actual child. I usually used to ramble about The Creator and the lessons of Samson in the Bible and shit like that when I still had long dreadlocks, and when we actually had our third real kid, my dreadlocked wife sat outside in the car with the baby so I could point them out and give visual proof to the religious kook anti-hospital anti-everything crazed dude story I would hint at when getting these rural birth certificates set up. What this means is we have 8 children in the eyes of the government, but only 3 actual kids. This bodes well for us during tax time, especially in regards to maxing out our Earned Income Credit, and also allows us some nice food stamp benefits as well. We don't have the bodies to prove they exist, but we have the birth certificates straight from the Virginia Department of Record Bullshit, and we have SS#s, and those two things count for more than being an actual human.
This caused me to test out a neighboring county as well, using a friend's address, to get three additional birth certificates and social security numbers, with a fake woman, so that the kids have a different last name. I did this to have aliases to give my own three children when they turn 21, as a present. It could be used to start a new life of credit at some point, or to travel anonymously to foreign countries, or really for whatever they deem it necessary at that point in their life. We are raising them right, so I trust they'll make the best decisions they can for themselves by that point. No one really should be stifled by one single alias in this cyber-optically complicated 2011 world. And though the government has tried to make it more complicated, especially after 9/11, it's important to remember our government is still entirely incompetent, and where competent it is outright corrupt, so you there's plenty of cracks to sneak between. If you only have one social security number in 2011, then you just are even trying to be free anymore, and deserve whatever bullshit predatory credit bankruptcy laws they burden you with.
But back to the baby-making music... I may come off as preachy, but it seems to me one reason there are so many fatherless children being raised in this world is because R&B music got so computerized and soulless. That is considered baby-making music nowadays, but the blip bloop synthesized backbeat is nothing like the actual live bass and drums of older soul. I'm not getting all old and crazy, saying this isn't music because of blah blah blah, because I love the collage nature of sampled music. But for baby-making, something is amiss (unless of course DJ Quik produced it, but that's a whole 'nother story). Because of this, there is less attachment to the baby-making involved in the baby-making music, because it's actually just electronic workout music and people are mistakenly using sexual intercourse at a cardiovascular stimulant. Procreation is not simple exercise of the body (though it is a great workout if done well and regularly, which I hope it is, for all of us, even you ugly people) but a connection of molecules to hopefully smash together into a new DNA machine that will be not only you combined with another but also hopefully a superior physical child, losing the weak genes and keeping the strong. The human is a highly emotional creature as well though, so both parents ideally should have a good amount of involvement in emotionally shaping the offspring as well. Without that, we have physically stronger children who are emotionally stifled, and I think if you look around you for the rest of the day, there's certainly a lot of that going on, ain't it?
STEAL "How Long"
NEXT: my daughter's enthusiastic influence in the J.J. Krupert process!