25-Man Metaphysical Roster: Arsenal F.C.

[an Arsenal supporter lolol, it's like english version of my dad's smoking buddies]

[25-Man Metaphysical Roster is a football dork methodology meant to establish a listing of players who have been most active for English Premier League teams in their past 100 non-friendly matches. Essentially, it is calculated by minutes played, but weighted towards most recent games. The end result is a listing of the 25 players in a team’s recent history who have had the largest hand on their metaphysical sporting trajectory. The English Premier League was chosen because it is the highest level of football played in an English speaking country, and I speak English. Also, it is what comes on TV here in the USA, where I fucking live. And yet still I should clarify I hate English, and also America. Thus maybe I hate myself. Should I not fail in maintaining my unpaid deadline, a new 25-Man Metaphysical Roster will appear on the 1st and 15th of every month.]

Haha, I failed but I’m sneaking the old ones in for historical record. Funny looking at this now because it is uselessly out of date. RIP Arson Wanger. No blurbs, because lazy in the past and catching up BUT GUESS WHAT MY LIFE HAS BEEN FUCKING CRAZY DON'T JUDGE ME.

#1: Nacho Monreal

#2: Alexis Sanchez

#3: Mesut Ozil

#4: Hector Bellerin

#5: Laurent Koscielny

#6: Petr Cech

#7: Granit Xhaka

#8: Shkodran Mustafi

#9: Aaron Ramsey

#10: Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain

#11: Olivier Giroud

#12: Theo Walcott

#13: Gabriel Paulista

#14: Alex Iwobi

#15: Francis Coquelin

#16: Rob Holding

#17: Danny Welbeck

#18: Mohamed Elneny

#19: David Ospina

#20: Kieran Gibbs

#21: Per Mertesacker

#22: Lucas Perez

#23: Sead Kolasinac

#24: Ainsley Maitland-Niles

#25: Alexandre Lacazette