[Cyril the Swan, Swansea's one time mascot, appearing in court for charges
of being too disruptive, in character, lolol]
[25-Man Metaphysical
Roster is a football dork methodology meant to establish a listing of players
who have been most active for English Premier League teams in their past 100
non-friendly matches. Essentially, it is calculated by minutes played, but weighted
towards most recent games. The end result is a listing of the 25 players in a
team’s recent history who have had the largest hand on their metaphysical
sporting trajectory. The English Premier League was chosen because it is the
highest level of football played in an English speaking country, and I speak
English. Also, it is what comes on TV here in the USA, where I fucking live. And
yet still I should clarify I hate English, and also America. Thus maybe I hate
myself. Should I not fail in maintaining my unpaid deadline, a new 25-Man
Metaphysical Roster will appear on the 1st and 15th of every month.]
Was extra sad I had fallen off when Swansea City
came back around because it would’ve marked a full season of survival of this
project as well as the team. They were just starting to climb out of the
basement of Premier League, but as I write this there’s a couple weeks left and
our fate is still not sure for next season. Fucking football.
#1: Lukasz
Fabianski (same as last time Swansea
City was metaphysically 25-manned on 01-Feb-2017)
#2: Alfie
Mawson (up from #19 last time)
#3: Kyle
Naughton (up from #7 last time)
#4: Federico
Fernandez (same as last time)
#5: Leroy
Fer (up from #12 last time)
#6: Martin
Olsson
#7: Tommy
Carroll
#8: Jordan
Ayew
#9: Gylfi
Sigurdsson (down from #2 last time)
#10: Wayne
Routledge (down from #6 last time)
#11: Sung-Yeung
Ki (down from #9 last time)
#12: Jack
Cork (down from #3 last time)
#13: Mike
van der Hoorn (up from #22 last time)
#14: Fernando
Llorente (up from #17 last time, also
previously #23 for Tottenham Hotspur on 01-Nov-2017)
#15: Tammy
Abraham
#16: Leon
Britton (down from #11 last time)
#17: Angel
Rangel (down from #8 last time)
#18: Sam
Clucas (previously #2 for Hull City
on 01-Mar-2017)
#19: Nathan
Dyer (up from #24 last time)
#20: Roque
Mesa
#21: Neil
Taylor (down from #5 last time)
#22: Jordi
Amat (down from #13 last time)
#23: Luciano
Narsingh
#24: Wilfried
Bony (previously #25 for Stoke City
on 01-Jul-2017)
#25: Renato
Sanches
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