25-Man Metaphysical Roster: Liverpool F.C.

[25-Man Metaphysical Roster is a football dork methodology meant to establish a listing of players who have been most active for English Premier League teams in their past 100 non-friendly matches. Essentially, it is calculated by minutes played, but weighted towards most recent games. The end result is a listing of the 25 players in a team’s recent history who have had the largest hand on their metaphysical sporting trajectory. The English Premier League was chosen because it is the highest level of football played in an English speaking country, and I speak English. Also, it is what comes on TV here in the USA, where I fucking live. And yet still I should clarify I hate English, and also America. Thus maybe I hate myself. Should I not fail in maintaining my unpaid deadline, a new 25-Man Metaphysical Roster will appear on the 1st and 15th of every month.]

WORKING THROUGH A MISSED YEAR BECAUSE WE RE-LAUNCHING THIS BITCH ON JUNE 1ST, 2019!!! This would’ve been the Liverpool listings on October 1, 2018. Apologies to Neil, Jude, and all the boys for not having my shit together to get this done. BUT WE BACK NOW BABY!

#1: ROBERTO FIRMINO (same as last time Liverpool was metaphysically ranked on 15-Oct-2017; AND HIS SECOND TIME AS A METAPHYSICAL STAR)

#2: GEORGINIO WIJNALDUM (up from #4 last time)

#3: SADIO MANE (up from #11 last time)

#4: MOHAMED SALAH (up from #19 last time)

#5: JAMES MILNER (same as last time)

#6: JORDAN HENDERSON (up from #9 last time)

#7: DEJAN LOVREN (down from #6 last time)

#8: ANDREW ROBERTSON (previously ranked #1 for Hull City on 01-Mar-2017)

#9: TRENT ALEXANDER-ARNOLD (up from #20 last time)

#10: VIRGIL VAN DIJK (previously ranked #18 for Southampton on 15-Jul-2018)

#11: LORIS KARIUS (up from #18 last time)

#12: EMRE CAN (down from #3 last time)

#13: JOEL MATIP (down from #8 last time)

#14: JOE GOMEZ (up from #21 last time)

#15: SIMON MIGNOLET (down from #2 last time)

#16: ALEX OXLADE-CHAMBERLAIN (previously ranked #10 for Arsenal on 01-Oct-2017)

#17: RAGNAR KLAVAN

#18: ALBERTO MORENO (down from #13 last time)

#19: PHILIPPE COUTINHO (down from #10 last time)

#20: NATHANIEL CLYNE (down from #7 last time)

#21: ADAM LALLANA (down from #12 last time)

#22: ALISSON

#23: DANIEL STURRIDGE (down from #17 last time)

#24: DOMINIC SOLANKE

#25: NABY KEITA