with a six-pack's worth of decades (after the drive home)
to still be a life
writing prayerpoemraps about basically fuckthat
in its entirety, attempting to not think
with poison culture brain, trying to see
if I can still hear my heart
find a mountain to machete the kudzu
and an AR15 to keep clean enough
for when the devils come from the crossroads
the four-leaf clovers of progressive avoidance
interstates and highways intersecting
with intersectional theory ignored completely
except for the homeless camped in the woods
that VDOT can't afford to contract immigrant labor
to weed eat and gather the trash
climate change blew the budget during Aquarius season
contemplating the concept that these legs and ankles and hips
which all ache from the suicide expressed as self-destruction
expressed as ridiculous recklessness which makes for
good tales and better scars
that I can keep walking rightleftrightleft
chipping away towards whatever horizon is enticing
me to not climb into the graves dug for me everywhere
made it through southside virginia mine fields
where so many I've loved suffer self-inflicted wounds
because the devils teach you from the freshest age
it's all your own fault it's all your own fault
it's all your own fault
so we end up trying to kill that voice inside our head
repeating what we was toldtaughtshown to be a type of true
which consumes
trying to silence them voices with bullets bowls pills
chemical fogs and digital distractions
vodka shots at lunchtime from the bottle behind the seat
born dead broke deadbroke and miserable for multiple generations
so that life liberty and happiness carrot don't mean shit any more
so bring out your sticks and stones
chanting la ilaha illallah while my machete swings
through kudzu and blackberry clusters gone too far right
when the devils finally decide to come for me too
no problem dying because been half-dead already
contemplating how the half-life is possible
when I been half-dead the whole time
No comments:
Post a Comment